
Dementia Support Group
Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...

deleted_user
After two years of putting my Mom as the priority in my life I've come to the realization that my priorities are my husband, daughter (away at college)career and then my Mom. My Mom with Alzheimer's can not be the same Mom who loved and raised me. My Mom was at first at her home, then when she couldn't take care of herself or the house I brought her to CO to live in Assisted Living after 11 months there she then spent 10 days in the hospital to control medical issues and then to Skilled Nursing. For this reason I've made a Living Will so that my husband and daughter will hopefully realize they can make choices for me if there ever comes a time that I can not realize what they are doing for me and I can not say thank you and I love you.

deleted_user
That's a good thought, but might I suggest something. My father has dementia and for 20 years, he thought he had taken care of himself by giving Durable Power of Attorney , to myself and my sister. But come to find out, that's not the way it works. After he was diagnoised with Frontemporal dementia, his 4th wife, took him and had him change his legal papers. It could have been a delivery person, that talked him into changing his papers, and he would have been better off if it had been a stranger. There is another kind of Power of Attorney, that can't be changed, when your mind starts slipping. Believe me, when I say, you cannot even imagine what the future brings. Spend the extra money and time to do it where, the ones you love are protected as well as yourself. My father thought he was safe, and did everything right. I have watched and spent thousands of dollars for attorneys, just to keep him as abuse free as possible. Number 4 married him for his money, everyone knew it even him. But he thought his POA protected him and us. She has given away property because she isn't getting but 20,000, when he dies, so she has done away with as much as possible. I just want everyone to understand, you need to be protected. At this point, I'm still surprised everyday, by what can happen when you think your safe. You might think, nothing like this can happen to you, but there are people out there, that can do anything for one dollar. I could write a book. Please, take care of yourself and your loved ones. Make sure you do it right, no matter the cost. A living will is not enough. good luck with your mom.

deleted_user
Yes Living Wills will help legally, but by nature, we all struggle with making these kinds of horrific decisions even when the persons wishes are known. When the time comes, It is easier for the patient than for the family.

deleted_user
I agree with you 100%. My dad suffered from dementia his last years, I could never get him to write a will or medical directive, etc. I had to make those decisions for him. I feel like I made the proper decisions but...it would have been so much better if he had put it to paper.

deleted_user
My father has dementia and our solicitor advised us to complete a personal welfare LPA (lasting power of attorney). This would give one or more people chosen by you to make decisions on your behalf regarding your welfare and personal healthcare. They would then have the ability to do anything from refuse a medical treatment to chose your clothes and daily routine. You can also get a property and affairs LPA for managing assets and finances.
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