I wish there were a place for me to write. I am the one with dementia and no one seems to understand what I am going through. I am the one that is forgetting everything and not knowing why I feel this sensation of people leaving me when it's just I can't remember who they are. I couldn't remember my own husband's name. I was looking at him and wanted to call him Dennis. I have never met a Dennis before. My husband's name is David. Why did I pick that name? I am so frustrated and there is no cure! I get so unsettled and then my friends have to ask me, "Do you have to go to the bathroom?" I run off to the bathroom because that's why I am so unsettled. I am only 34 years old. I think. Yes... I am 34yrs old. I stop breathing because what's next? Inhaling or exhaling? My brain can't remember anymore. David has to breathe into my ear to remind how to breathe!
My husband is so depressed from taking care of me that I have to work. He stays up at night because I forget to breathe in my sleep that now so he's scared to go to sleep. He's depressed and sleep deprived so I have to work. Can you believe that? I have to work and I am the one that is forgetting how to use the computer program for work. I can't remember how to walk and if I have go to the bathroom or not. I make the majority of the money. Does that seem right?
I am frustrated because he wants to take care of me but I don't want him to suffer anymore so I push him away. I don't want to be cared for 24/7. I am an independent person. I want to go shopping alone and stay home alone but he insists on having someone there all of the time in case I stop breathing so I am surrounded by people all of the time. I am never alone. I understand the situation but I am never alone. I hate this.
After diagnosis it's usually 3-5 years for being so young before the inevitable. I was diagnosed a year ago. I told my friend the other day I would rather stop breathing than forget you but maybe I will forget before that happens. Time will tell. Frustrated and Confused? To say the least.
To everyone out there taking care of someone this is how your loved one feels. This is so hard for me, I can't imagine having this sickness and not being able to describe to some extent how I feel. Thank you for taking care of your loved ones because I can't imagine doing this by myself as much as I want to be alone. They want to say thank you and maybe they don't because they can't. So from some that still can speak and put sentences together that make sense, thank you for helping.
This is hard for me cause ive never posted but, you gotta start somewhere. Earlier this month my husband of (just shy) 24 years asked me for a divorse, he said he was sick of tring to make the marrige part of us work that as friends I was an awsome and increadable person. He needs more in a "parner" he is looking for hus and cuddles and of course intamitcy (sex to me) I don't care for sex, never...
Like so many others, I have a laundry list of complaints. I guess what’s really frustrating is that, though I have so many answers, I don’t seem to have the right ones. One of my biggest problems is that I have no one to talk to, no one who can listen or hold the space. My therapist couldn’t meet with me again this week, one of my few cherished sources of emotional support. But even with...