Dementia Support Group
Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...
I think my 72 yr old mother has a form of dementia. It is like she is stuck in the past, and jst relives the negative events in her life. A broken record, playing the same song over and over. It seems like she has paranoia becase sge swears thamy father and my 2 sisters are conspiring against her. My 2 sisters have cut off all communications with our mother, making her even more angrier. She tried to commit sicide 2 years ago by ingesting 64 xanax pills and 60 Codine pills plus a bottle of Sake wine. She survived and was given a California 5150 and placed in a state mental facility for review. She passed with flying colors and released. Yes...my mother has the gift to gab and can persade people easily.
We are now at a point where everyone is at their whits end. My poor father who has stayed by her side is beat up mentaly and physicaly. I have recently moved back near my mother becase she was going to die very soon and had to see me one last time. As for my moms physical illnesses, she has had minor strokes and heart failre.
I am ashamed to state this, but we are at a point where we are all emotionaly drained and stressed. I get anxiety attacks when I see her everyday. There is jst no reasoning with her. I will not give up on her because she is my only mom I ever had. A brilliant lady in her prime who could achieve anything she set her mind to do. I jst want her to be at peace and not suffer anymore.
Any ideas? Please advise.
Thank you for listening to me.
Abraham J Lee
Orange County, CA
We are now at a point where everyone is at their whits end. My poor father who has stayed by her side is beat up mentaly and physicaly. I have recently moved back near my mother becase she was going to die very soon and had to see me one last time. As for my moms physical illnesses, she has had minor strokes and heart failre.
I am ashamed to state this, but we are at a point where we are all emotionaly drained and stressed. I get anxiety attacks when I see her everyday. There is jst no reasoning with her. I will not give up on her because she is my only mom I ever had. A brilliant lady in her prime who could achieve anything she set her mind to do. I jst want her to be at peace and not suffer anymore.
Any ideas? Please advise.
Thank you for listening to me.
Abraham J Lee
Orange County, CA
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
There are also excellent drugs that can help with the dementia in some cases. Some times it's trial and error. I don't know what kind of health plan she has but sometimes you have to push a little to get anything done. It's sad but elderly patients are often put at the back of the line. But even if she is on public assistance there are doctors and nurses who really care about these patients.
I know it's heartbreaking to see your Mom like this. But surviving that barrage of pills, she must have some fight left in her. I can only share my experience and I'll tell you it's no time for families to divide over this. Try to get everyone together and come to some kind of agreement on what to do. It's nice that you moved closer to be there for your parents but your sisters need to step up and help out at least a little. Sometimes old issues are used for an excuse. I don't know your family history. Just saying.
It's nothing to be ashamed of for feeling helpless and drained. Go through some of the other posts and replies here and you will see you are not alone and can also get some suggestions and advice. Get all the info you can so you will know more about what you are dealing with and how to handle it. Take care of business and take care of yourself. Good luck and keep posting.
One of the hardest parts of this experience is to accept that we are limited in what we can change. You would like your mother to be at peace and not suffer anymore. Those are wonderful goals but not ones that you have total control over. Things you can do: 1. Sort out what you can do from your side, i.e. be there, provide some pleasant experiences, give her hugs, etc. 2. Identify those things that you can not change, i.e. the thoughts of someone who is not thinking straight, 3. Grieve over the loss of your mother as she used to be. I call it the atrophying of a relationship. I am glad you have some really great memories of how things used to be. Write those down. Acknowledge that your relationship with your mother will never be that way again, in fact, her ability to contribute to the relationship diminishes on an ongoing basis. Take time to cry about these losses. My article on this topic was in the Sept/Oct 2010 issue of the Today's Caregivers magazine which you can find on line at http://www.caregiver.com
May you look to God to strengthen you through these painful times.
Your father is at risk too, as the stress of caregiving is documented.
Thanks for the link, scamper.