I just want to say to someone who understands...... I miss my Dad. I want him back. I know he's part of lifes great cycle, but thats just how I feel. I don't know whats happening to me lately, but I've been feeling depressed for a few weeks. I apologize for now offering more support to our new group members, I ususally have something to offer, but lately I have nothing. Tonight I decided to drink. I haven't had a drink in probably 4 months. Tonight I feel almost looped. I'm not a big drinker, but I feel like I need to be sloshed. I know I've been feeling down because my Dads birthday was the 15th, but I feel like its more than that. I feel like I don't want to be the strong one anymore. I just don't know what to do about things lately. I feel lost. I don't know how to handle my Mom and her not eating and weight, my sister still won't even mention my Dad and I just need someone in my family to understand how much I miss him. I feel like I need someone in my family to know how much pain I'm still in. I need to verify when I refer to family, I mean my core family(I call my core family my father, mother, sister, brother etc). My husband does the best he can to understand,but both his parents are still alive, so I feel like he really doesn't get it. I feel like I've tried to keep a positive outlook, but I feel like its a front. I'm good at denial and stuffing back feelings, I've been having a tough time doing that lately. I do good in front of my son and others, but lately when no one is home I seem to fall to pieces. I feel like I can't keep up the front. I can't focus on anything. My house is a mess. I feel like I don't know what to do. I think its time for a therapy visit. Thanks for listening to me whine tonight. Your the only ones who really understand.
big hug, Marge
big hug, Marge
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...