I just want to say to someone who understands...... I miss my Dad. I want him back. I know he's part of lifes great cycle, but thats just how I feel. I don't know whats happening to me lately, but I've been feeling depressed for a few weeks. I apologize for now offering more support to our new group members, I ususally have something to offer, but lately I have nothing. Tonight I decided to drink. I haven't had a drink in probably 4 months. Tonight I feel almost looped. I'm not a big drinker, but I feel like I need to be sloshed. I know I've been feeling down because my Dads birthday was the 15th, but I feel like its more than that. I feel like I don't want to be the strong one anymore. I just don't know what to do about things lately. I feel lost. I don't know how to handle my Mom and her not eating and weight, my sister still won't even mention my Dad and I just need someone in my family to understand how much I miss him. I feel like I need someone in my family to know how much pain I'm still in. I need to verify when I refer to family, I mean my core family(I call my core family my father, mother, sister, brother etc). My husband does the best he can to understand,but both his parents are still alive, so I feel like he really doesn't get it. I feel like I've tried to keep a positive outlook, but I feel like its a front. I'm good at denial and stuffing back feelings, I've been having a tough time doing that lately. I do good in front of my son and others, but lately when no one is home I seem to fall to pieces. I feel like I can't keep up the front. I can't focus on anything. My house is a mess. I feel like I don't know what to do. I think its time for a therapy visit. Thanks for listening to me whine tonight. Your the only ones who really understand.
big hug, Marge
big hug, Marge
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