It has been 5 yrs, since my stepfather (from age 3) died. He committed "suicide by cops" when I was 21. It has been so hard for even extended family to deal with. I had my first child just 5 weeks before he died. I lived the hardest days for her until they got easier. I was even very successful in helping my family with thier emotions durring thier grieving process. I believed that having my child helped me to go though the grieving process, but she is five now and my youngest is three, and I think I have put off some parts of the process until now. I have made terrible choices in partners, mostly to avoid being alone. I have put off some rather serious goals, and dug myself into debt. I just realized that I have been living the past 5 years day to day (survival mode). Now I finally figured out that tomorrow is comming, and the next. I got on the ball this week with paperwork and finalizing the opening of my home daycare, and starting a budget. I have an appointment with a therapist to help me pick up the mess, I guess this was just the next step. Any thoughts? I would love some advise from anyone, especially if there is someone else that has had a similar Ah-ha moment.
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