My father passed away in his sleep on Sunday, February 22, 2009. He passed away on what would have been my parent's 56th wedding anniversary. He had just been diagnosed with a "narrowed aortic valve" 2 days earlier; he decided not to have surgery to fix it. He suffered for the last 13 years with Epilepsy and Parkinson's brought on by a major stroke. My mother passed away on March 8th, 2008, and it's been a very rough year for me. I woke up today and just felt . . . numb. I just feel like there's this storm of activity going on all around me, and I'm in the center of the hurricane, and everything is very still. I still feel like it's really not over yet, mainly because I'm not sure if there's still bills to pay that my brother and I don't know about. Thankfully Dad had extra $$ in his bank account to cover his expenses, but I'm still worried there may be more $$ to pay off something else, and I'm tired of spending money out of my rapidly dwindling savings account. *sigh* I'm just so tired of grieving, and just want to get on with my life! It doesn't make it easier that the job I've been working at for a year now as a "Contract Employee" may or may not be here in the near future - I'm so tired of this f-ing crap economy!! I have had no health insurance for over a year now, and it really sucks. I was laid off from my prior job of almost 5 years back in January of 2008, and I just want to land somewhere and not have any more STRESS! My health is finally back to somewhat-normal (my thyroid decided to quit on me last year, too and gave me Chronic Fatigue - it was HELL), and I just want to finally start LIVING again. I just really want to focus on finding a significant other/spouse/life partner/husband, but am just so frustrated about not having the $$ to be able to do activities that will help me to meet new men. Being 42 and single sucks. At least I don't have kids; that would be even worse, I think. (I've never wanted kids; just don't have the "Mommy Gene") So, I'm just looking for support on this site - I belong to Motherless Daughters, and it (and this site) has been a godsend.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening.
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