Its 4:00am here and this is the 2nd time awake tonight. Yesterday was my Dads birthday, so I guess I'm feeling raw. My Dad loved this Mexican restaurant in the next town over, so we'd ususally go there for his birthday. He loved it. Then we'd come back to my house for his favorite birthday cake.....chocolate cake with lemon icing. It sounds strange, but its pretty good. My parents would stay for cake and coffee and then everyone would head home. I miss my Dads smile yesterday. He always said everyone made such a fuss. It was great. I've been feeling like I'm on auto-pilot lately. Its like I'm numb, just going through the motions. Its been just past 5 months since my Dad died, I thought I was past that. Its like my rollercoaster ride is heading down again and I've stopped it on the tracks instead of letting it finish the plummet so it can start going up again. I hate those few days when I hit bottom, but its like if I don't allow myself to go there, I stay in this limbo of numbness. Does that make any sense? I'm rambling. Thanks for being here ladies. I'm going to try sleep again. Hug to all, Marge....Happy Birthday Dad.
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