I think this is going to be a babbleing message. I'm finding myself back to some old habits like feeling like I'm wondering around not knowing what to do first. I'm back to not sleeping, being up and down all night. Eating for not reason. I think I'm trying so hard not to think about Feb. 3rd, that unconsciencely I'm backsliding into earlier grief habits. I can't seem to get to stop them. I just cannot believe that next week it will be 1 year since I've seen, talked to, hugged or touched my Dad. That fact is hard for me to comprehend. Also, I'm still worried about my Mom. She just cannot hardly mention my Dad and she cries. She is still so fragile. A few days ago, just to bring her into reality, I asked her if she ever thought about how my Grandma, her mother, made it through the grief when my Grandpa died. My grandparents were married 49 years before my Grandfather died. That was almost 30 years ago, my grandmother is 100 now. She got this puzzled look on her face and said she honestly couldn't remember. I just wanted her to somehow realize, others have been and are still going through this too and she can make it. Well, I guess I'll try to sleep again. Thanks. Hugs, Marge
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