So, lately having CF has really bothered me. I keep having to add more stuff on my already busy schedule. I feel like there is no part of me that I am normal. My parents even put me on a 504 plan at school that gives me leniency with my work and other stuff. Exactly the thing I always try to avoid. I hate being treated differently and this does just that. Its why I never had my doctors give a note when I had to take PE. I just took the grade that I got, as if I didnt have CF. Every day, I strive to act and feel normal. Because if I don't I just sit and watch everyone have their own normal life while Im here just trying to stay alive and healthy. Right now I feel like that is my purpose in life, to stay alive. Im so greatful my cheer coaches taught me how to push myself better, and because of that, I got a coaches award for being the best athlete on my team. Idk, I think its just that before I was able to hide it better, and now, more and more things come up that I have to deal with, and its like now I actually have to do something about it. Before, the only thing I really worried about was taking my enzymes, and I was able to hide that by taking it while no one was looking. But now, with my constant infections and constant coughing, breathing has gotten more difficult, my stomache aches have increased in pain and frequency, and now I have to deal with my sinuses. I agree to do this so that I an reach my goals in life and do things I enjoy, and not draw attention to myself by coughing all the time. But it seems like every day it just gets harder and harder, and I dont know when its going to get to the point where either I cant take it anymore, or it gets to the point where I will be incapable of doing the things that I love. I guess I just wanted to talk to people about this and one day even meet someone that has CF so I dont feel so abnormal.
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