
Crohn's Disease & Ulcerative Colitis Support Group
Crohn's disease is a systemic inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) of unknown cause, that results in chronic inflammation of the intestinal tract. It can affect the entire gastrointestinal tract from mouth to anus, and can also cause complications outside of the gastrointestinal tract. There is no known medical or surgical cure for Crohn's disease, but there are many medical...

deleted_user
I have had an ileostomy for a little over a year. I just got involved in a physical relationship a few months ago. There are really no physical problems with sex , it is all in my own mind. Now , he has never said anything negative about the bag and in fact he tries very hard to make me feel wanted and desirable. He says that it does not bother him and that he does not even think about it and does not see the bag as part of who I am. It is me and my own thoughts that bother me. I just feel so insecure about it. If he touches me and accidentally touches the bag I cringe because I feel that it must be gross to him even if he wont say so. I am sure that these feelings are pretty normal for a person like me , I just wonder if there are any others out there who have the same issues and if you can give me some advice on overcoming my insecurities about it?
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I have the same problem, well i have been in this relationshio for a good 12 years now, but I see where your coming from. My partner is always saying it doesnt bother him at all the bag and all, but i am sooo paranoid about it. If im in the bathroom getting changed and he walks in I feel really embarrassed and try to cover up. Its hard to have a positive feeling about the bag.
I hope you overcome your insecurities...and myself too lol!
Ambrose
Dont feel selfish at all! We are all here because we have these problems and can relate to one another. I felt like I was meant to be alone for the rest of my life and had settled myself with that fact and then I met Chad. He has been wonderful to me. But before him..all my other relationships failed because they could not deal with the severity of my disease and the surgeries and hospitalizations , etc. My last boyfriend (of a 2 1/2 year relationship) left me in the hospital right after having the ileostomy surgery. You can imagine how horrible that made me feel about myself. I thought for sure no man would ever want me after that. How could they if someone I had been with for over 2 years couldnt stand the sight of me before I even had the chance to get home from the surgery? I can say I have come a long way since then , for I see that he was just a selfish sob who cared only about himself and he moved onto someone else he could use immediately. I met my fiance on the internet and we talked for several months before meeting. We were actually just very good friends for awhile and so we talked about everything so by the time we actually did meet RL he already knew everything about me and my illness and ostomy. If it had not happened this way I would not have known how to address the issue of the ileostomy when dating someone. I wish I could help you on that one. Maybe you should try to meet people as friends and if you see any sparks or possibility of going further than that , discuss the issue before moving onto anything romantic. That way , if she or he really cares about you and cant deal with the ileostomy then at least you still have a friend?