I have three boys ages 11, 10, and 8. Me having Crohn's disease definately affects all of them. When I had my first surgery it was a matter of an emergency, the GI said if I didnt have the surgery I would have been dead within a month. Unfortunately my wife wasnt able to stay with me during the surgery she had to fly back to Kodiak because of the kids and work. It really helped having a close Church community and my wife having a really great boss. They helped them alot.

One of the things I do with my boys is to always communicate with them about whats going on and let them share how they are feeling. I talk to them about everything and help them to understand what is happening I keep them involved.

Of course they are boys and want to do boy things which is great and unfortunately I have had to call of some fishing trips and camping trips which upsets them but they seem to understand.

I have to run, hope this gives a little bit of help.
Ambrose

I am with you. I have three daughters. My oldest is 14 with bi-polar, ocd, adhd. My youngest is 9. For the past two years they have been dragged to the doctors offices. They have visited me in the hospital more than I would like to admit and the anxiety of it all is apparent on their faces. I feel guilty all the time. I have had my kids make comments like "well your always sick!" There have been alot of tears too. On all of our part. It has made them have to grow up quicker. I try to make up for not being there when I can. I think in the long run it will make them better adults. Kids need to know that even parents get sick. A horrible hard lesson. I just try to include them on my day to day health. My appointments. What they are for and what we are trying to accomplish. I try to include them in the whole picture of the illness. I also spend alot of time reassuring them that I will be o.k. eventually. It doesn't stop all the guilt but I think telling them how you feel and how you are struggling each day at a level they can understand helps them to feel like they have been included in all that is going on with us. A lot of their worries come from not being big enough to feel like they can help you. They watch everyday but have no power in the healing. I try to let them know they do. If they get me something when I am feeling bad I let them know that they helped me in a huge way. It gives them a sense of security I think. Security in knowing they have helped out in someway that is going to be helpful to you and your health even if it means you are still sick. I wish I had more that could help you. We try to inform them as much as possible for their age and mental capacity. I wish you all the best of luck. I know your struggle. God bless.

Donya, I have had Crohn's Disease for 22 yrs., my son is 19, and all his life I have been ill. After a while of not being able to fulfill my promises of taking him places, I learned and he has also I have to wait to see how I feel. I have had 20 surgeries over the 22 yrs., and in 2000, I almost died, they gave me an 8% chance to live, and now I have a colostomy, and am pretty healthy, I have good days and bad days. But he lives with me and has seen how sick I can get, and he cooks for me when I can't, he fusses at me if I don't eat, he still loves me all the same, but he has seen what I go through and every day he comes in my room when I wake up and gives me a hug,and asks me if I need anything. I don't think you should hide anything from them, let them see how you feel. It will take a while to sink in, but as time goes on, they will get it. And will realize how sick you are, and how much they love you and don't want to see you in pain, right now it's all new to them, and they don't know what to think. Also I let my son read about my illness I read it to him off the internet, and that helped a lot. I hope I have helped. Gail