My mother has recently been diagnosed with this condition and many other GI conditions, but no colon removals... yet. I don't know about the bag, but I do remember reading about one lady on her a couple of months ago that kept everyone posted on her progress since having it done. She was concerned, but is really living a good life even with it and I believe she was in her mid 20s. You might look at a few posts back a couple of months ago and see if you can find any of her updates. I'm sorry you are going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

First of all, they remove almost all of the rectum except a thin, thin strip, so that should be a non-issue when talking about J-Pouch surgery.
Second, I'd get a second opinion for sure. It took me three consultations to find the "right" surgeon and I'm really glad I did that even though it took time and frustration and getting out of my house which was the last thing I felt like doing. This is the rest of your life. It's worth it.
You definitely sound like surgery will improve your life - I was at the same place you sound like you are - couldn't get off prednisone, couldn't get out of bed, puking, awfulness.
All that being said, I have heard people say that they got very used to the bag and it was worth it and that they would take the bag over colitis anyday.
For me, it caused major complications because it didn't drain properly and caused me to go septic so I only had the bag for a month - that for me was plenty. I was told that was an incredibly rare situation.
At the same time, septic sickness aside, I still would rather have had the bag then be "living" like I was with the UC.
The pain is gone, you no longer bleed. You still have the bathroom issue (at least right after, it probably adjusts), but it's so much better than with UC.
But i would really try to find a surgeon who will talk to you about the pouch. I can't understand why he said your rectum is too damaged when they remove the rectum anyway. Ask the surgeon about a total proctocolectomy w/ ileal anal anastomosis - that's the technical term for the j pouch surgery. The procto part refers to removal of the rectum.
Good luck. It's hard to get your head around, but the point that you're at, trust me, it is SO much better than living like that. There are hurdles, but you get there eventually and you never look back.

My sister has Crohns it was quite bad they needed to do surgery early on... She had to have ab illeostomy a bag from the small intestine... even then she had some problems at first learning to eat the right things as not to cause a blockage by eating fiber that doesn't get digested ( think she had 2 times she ate something that cause problems once was a mushroom another a nut...) She finally learned better and hasn't had problems... she still takes Remicade. Think she is one of the longest know patients on it over 10 years now!!! She tried to go off it and the Crohns started right up again (she lost like 40 pounds in 3 weeks) They were able to start her back on the Remicade and wella! she doing great again!!! Thank you Lord...
She has her energy back! She back to being her crazy self! She can run circles around everyone - amazing the energy she has...
I thought the throwing up happens because diseased passages become narrowed? You have to pass what you're eating one way or another...Thought this difficulty was mostly in Crohns patients though... I think a second opinion would be the best thing to do.

I got to the point a few years ago that I couldn't really even drink water. I was constantly "going and throwing" every time I went to the restroom I would throw up, it was horrible. After not eating for a few weeks, I was hospitalized...this is when they realized I had Crohn's and not UC. I was given lots of fluids and didn't eat or drink water the first two weeks in the hospital and this is when they started me on Remicade. It slowly pulled me into remission and I stayed in remission for over 3 years till I got pregnant (which I am almost 8 months now) and they took me off Remicade because my hospital won't give it to pregnant women. I am already planning on starting it back up as soon as the baby is born. I am not sure if your on any other kinds of medicine, but I would check into drugs like Remicade, it really gave me my life back, I know its not that way for everyone, but I would look for an alternative to surgery... though that is my opinion.
I hope you feel better, I know how rough it can be, and try not to let yourself get too dehydrated. Also, if your not already, try going on a liquid only diet (like ensure or boosts or another meal replacement drink), it helps to rest the bowels.

My daughter had an ostomy bag for 6 months prior to her J-pouch being "connected." Even though she is only 8 years old, having the ostomy bag was much better than having colitis! She felt so much better, more energy, no pain, no urgency, no spending her life in the bathroom. She adapted to the bag pretty quickly and learned to empty it herself, but I still helped her change the whole appliance every few days. She was able to participate in all her normal activities, summer camp, swimming, etc. One thing -- because she was so young, so wasn't really that embarrassed by it. I'm not sure how things would have been if she were older and dating, etc. Good luck to you whatever you decide!