i am so sorry you are having all these problems with this illness. but please do not give up . there are days when i to want to call it quits but i can't. i have four reasons to keep my self alive. and there are days they even drive me crazy. but i htink how much pain in there heart i would cause them. so i just keep pushing on. i even have parents that i think would not even miss me. but i still have people in this world that i would crush. so if some days you can not do it for you, then do it for them. the ones who love you so much. what i do is close my eyes and think of them finding there in bed with out in any life in me and i can picture there faces filed with so pain and it pushes to go another day. thats all you can do is go day by day. and it will be very hard but you can do it. so keep your chin up. i will be thinking about you and so will alot of people here. and if you just want to talk on a bad day that you write me.and i will do what i can to help. donya