Hi everyone,

As you know, I'm new to the community. It's been great so far just to know I'm in a space where others are battling the same problems.

I found this site because I started what feels like a relapse after many years of remission. I am, quite frankly, panicked...and not the greatest at asking for help. I have the unfortunate mentality that I can fix things myself and am loathe to ask for advice but this situation is becoming different...and difficult.

First, a not-so-brief background on my Crohn's experience so far:

As I wrote in the little blurb about myself, I have had digestive problems for many many years (since my late teens) but always chalked it up to something else (lactose intolerance, gluten intolerance, meat intolerance, FOOD intolerance etc.). A few years ago, I experienced two weeks of crippling symptoms (rectal bleeding, severe abdominal pains and a 25 lb weight loss in less than a month--I have never been "big" so this took me to skeletal) that ultimately landed me in the ER. I was touring with a band at the time, so they took me to the closest hospital in the city we were in. I spent 8 hours in the ER: MRI, pelvic exam, antibiotics out the wazoo and being without health insurance, paid for it dearly in the thousands. The doctor was checking to make sure I wasn't experiencing appendicitis or gall bladder problems. At the end of the day, he said I was fine and sent me on my way with some oral antibiotics and instructions to rest.

After returning to LA, I found a general practice doctor there who specialized in both holistic and Western medicine and we did blood tests, etc. With all the symptoms I relayed to her from before, she was 98% positive that I had Crohn's. She wanted me to visit a gastroenterologist, get a colonoscopy, etc. but being both stubborn and stupid and armed with her diagnosis, I decided to continue self-treatment by researching, eliminating foods, taking probiotics and being smart about my choices and monitoring myself. This has kept me fairly healthy for years. I occasionally would get bloody again but could attribute it to something I had been "slacking" on health-wise and managed to fix it within days.

About two weeks ago, I began bleeding again with every bowel movement. A few days ago, I started experiencing the scary cramps and tender abdomen that landed me in the ER the first time. I have not been to work at all this week. I am exhausted and the fatigue has been crippling. I describe waking up to feeling like I've been bashed all over with a baseball bat the night before...my muscles are sore and just don't want to move.

I know I should see a doctor but I am (1)not properly insured, (2)working with an AmeriCorps program this year which keeps me at a barely-sustainable income level and (3) relatively new to this city and VERY leery of doctors in general. I am doing the following to try to get better:

* continuing with probiotics (up until now, they have been the primary treatment that has kept my bleeding away)
* drinking aloe vera with carrot juice
* being more cognizant about my gluten intake (I admit to sometimes slipping)
* eliminating soy (I'm afraid this may be what brought it about)
* taking B12 in addition to my daily multi-vitamin and other B vitamins and magnesium
* drinking Yerba Mate (it just seems like it should help) instead of coffee (which I am trying to slowly wean myself off of--I know it's bad...but it's hard to quit)
* trying an alkalizing diet

I am eating very little and drinking quite a bit. Not alcohol, of course. I am trying to maintain my sense of humor. I am taking small doses of ibuprofen when it gets too rough. Since last night, I have finally managed to eliminate the bleeding, cramps are slightly alleviated but my body still feels like a train wreck. I'm trying to rest as much as possible although it depresses me to sit around the house all day.

So many of you seem to have had much more severe symptoms and have been dealing with it longer than I have, so that's why I'm turning to you...

What else (short of putting drugs in my body) can I do to help myself out? When I go home for T-giving, I'm going to speak more extensively with my parents about helping me out with starting doctor visits (money + me + my parents=touchy subject) but until then, I will not see a doctor.

Any suggestions you have would be appreciated...