
COPD & Emphysema Support Group
COPD is a progressive disease characterized by airflow obstruction or limitation. Emphysema is characterized by loss of elasticity of the lung tissue, destruction of structures supporting the alveoli and of capillaries feeding the alveoli. Both have symptoms that include shortness of breath, among other respiratory troubles. If you are a COPD or Emphysema sufferer, join...
Then about a year ago I was diagnosed with Sleep Apnea on top of the COPD. The doctors wanted me to sleep with a CPap machine with a full mask covering my face. Breathing with the CPap was very difficult for me. First of all I felt like I was suffocating with the mask covering my face and then, to try to exhale against that blast of air...well I plain and simply could not breathe. The end of July this year I got very sick again and ended up in the hospital once again. Now, I had developed Cor Pulmonale. (For those of you who do not know, this is basically right sided congestive heart failure.) Both my liver and kidney had shut down and I was as swollen as a giant air balloon. Once again, I was terrified. They made me use the CPap in the hospital. They told me I and my organs had been oxygen deprived for so long that I really had no choice... I had to begin using this thing every night. She promised me if I did I would live longer. So, because of being scared to death as a result of beign so ill, I came home and began using the machine everynight. The doctor did put me on a BiPap machine instead of the CPap which made a great deal of difference. It imitates breathing, so when I exhale it stops blowing. I do much better with it. As an added note, for the first time in years I am able to sleep through the night. Also, I now have dreams. Before I never went into REM sleep so I never had dreams. It really is pretty much a miracle.
Jaz, I am sure this was not exactly what you had in mind when you posted this topic. But, it was a case of grave health issues inspiring me to overcome huge obstacles. So, maybe it kind of fits???
I wish good health to one and all! JOAnn
In Feb. of 2000, although very ill with what I thought was asthma, I went to work that day. When I came home I could not even walk down stairs and knew I was in real crisis. I called my daughter and was taken to the hospital. Once there, I was immediately put into a room and remember all these tubes, etc, going in. It turned out not only was I having a very severe asthma excerbation, but they could hear air bubbles in both my lungs. I was not allowed to even talk on the phone, no visitors and no going to the bathroom. I was to remain perfectly still because the doctor said all my energy was needed just to breathe. I remember slowly drifting in and out..then at one point knowing I was going. There was a light that was, indeed, very bright - not a tunnel, just an all encompassing light and this tremendous sense of peace and love. I knew down to my bones I was good and was going "home". For lack of a better word, a spirit appeared. I knew it was a woman although her image was floaty and not really defined. I knew she was there to guide me and she reached out her hand to me and our fingers touched. I thought of my daughter - that she was too young for me to leave - that she still needed me. I was able to tell this to the spirit woman who smiled at me and understood. I knew it would be okay if I stayed.
The next thing I remembered were the doctors standing at the foot of my bed, saying how sad it was and they had done their best....
I stayed another 17 days in the hospital, but to this day I cannot tell you what day it was I entered the hospital or what day that occurred. I suppose I could look up old records, but I have never felt the need.
The experience, itself, was the most profound experience I have ever had. I cannot describe in words the beauty of it, nor the complete unconditional love and acceptance I felt.
I found I wanted to share it with everyone it was so beautiful...but so often I would be looked at which such skepticism that I quit sharing altogether.
It was at this time I began to write poetry. It just poured out of me...and I had never written a poem before in my life, but it was something I felt I had to do. It just free flowed. I began to paint though I've never had a painting lesson.
Another thing was that before I had some low self esteem. Ever since then, no matter how unkind or critical someone might be of me, it does not affect me, for I know that I am good.
There was a spiritual aspect, too... while in that place I was in, what was made clear to me was the biggest sin one can ever commit is to knowingly hurt another.
Now, I don't know if there is this God as portrayed in the Bible or other religious tenents, but I do believe with my whole being there is a great spiritual source far greater than we can imagine. It is this source that I love with all my heart and mind. It is this source I place my faith and trust.
I have also come to believe (though I never did before) that we may in fact, keep coming back on this quest to spiritual perfection.
I have always, since that experience, felt I lived two lives (before & after) in the years I have been here....different, but intertwined.
I am not the least suprised to hear of others here that have had a similar experience.
Thanks for sharing, JoAnna and Sassy....I hope others will, too.
I did not realize in the writing of it, my post was so long. I apologize.
Jaz
One thing I do know for certain is that God is Love, and he carries us in his loving arms. When we can connect with the Love that is God, we can heal in the best way possible - and that's spiritually.
Bless you! Sue