Conduct Disorder Support Group
Conduct Disorder is a pattern of repetitive behavior where the rights of others or the social norms are violated. Possible symptoms are over aggressive behavior, bullying, physical aggression, cruel behavior toward people and pets, destructive behavior, lying, truancy, vandalism and stealing. After the age of 18, a conduct disorder may develop into antisocial personality...
My 11 year old is not dealing well with our divorce, I was never the one to disipline, my ex was and my son his very angry about the divorce even though he knows that his father is an alcoholic and has abused drugs. He is allowed to seem his father provided he is not under the influence and knows when this is and would call me. My problem is when he gets really angry about something breaking etc or about anything that really upsets me he screams at me and tells me how stupid I am threatens to move in with his dad and says he wishes I would die. On the other hand if I say call your father or something like that he just falls into a mess of crying. He worries if I get home late because he's afraid something has happened to me and usally acts well with hugs and kisses etc and doesn't like me to go anywhere without him. I haven't grounded him for this behaviour but after acting like this and he calms down he is fine and understands he has over reacted or these actions are unacceptable.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
From the way that you describe your son's reactions to you, it sounds like he is having some difficulty dealing with the divorce. He might feel that his dad abandoned the family and is possibly scared that you will abandon him also. I'm not a therapist by any means, but this would be my 'take' on what is going on. I think the right therapist could really benefit him. The sooner he starts therapy (provided he has a good therapist), the happier he will be. Good luck!
I am in Australia, and we started with our school counsellor, I cannot say enough good things about her, she referred us to a counsellor outside school, and my son spoke with her weekly, then fortnightly for about 6 months, the change was gradual, but huge. Taking two steps forward, one step back. If your son is like mine, he is having trouble understanding that dad isn't all he should be, not an easy thing for a child, and thats all he is, a child, despite him thinking otherwise. Secondly, he probably feels that he can't speak about these things to you, for several reasons, and try not to take any of them personally. You are 'on the other side' he knows you are right, you are too close, he doesn't want to hurt/worry you, there are probably 1oo reasons. My son would go into the counsellors office with a rolled up newspaper, and belt her desk with it, once the utter frustration was out, they could talk.
At worst, you will go to a counsellor and he/she will tell you everything is OK...win win! You're getting it fixed, or it is confirmed that it requires something else. You can do it! The other thing is, you know you have to do something, you really don't have a choice, you have to help him. I found my strength in that - I really didn't have an option, I was given something to deal with, and I didn't have the tools to deal with it. No shame there, just go and get the tools. Go for it, it will save your sanity too. All the very best of luck, and I am sure you will soon have your 'good son' back luck.
jen