Coming Out Support Group
This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men and lesbian women face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.
I hope people take me seriously. This is kind of long, so please bear with me. I could use some good advice from anyone who has had a similar experience...
I'm a 33 year-old married heterosexual. My Husband and I have been together for 15 years and we have two kids. We've been married for 9. My husband has always been fashion savy, into soap operas, and liked to bleach his hair. I knew that from the start. It gets more complicated though. About 14 years ago his close friend from high school "came out". The two of them were almost inseparable. I know that doesn't mean he is gay, but there's more.
When we were dating, a lot of times, he would choose his gay friend over me. He even kept it a secret that he went to senior prom without me. He went with a girl, but she wasn't a love interest. He double dated with...you guessed it...his gay friend! This has always bothered me.
Okay, fast-forward to 2007! The gay friend died a couple of weeks ago. It was a surprise to everyone. The cause is unknown for sure, but there is suspicion that it was due to a climbing wall accident that he experienced while hanging out with my husband. The day of the accident, my husband literally clung to his side. He stayed all night at the hospital with him. Keep in mind, I've had hospital stays before, and he didn't treat me this way!
This was about 6 months ago. Then the death occurred from out of the blue. He was not seeing anybody, so he had no partner in his life. My husband is having a difficult time handling it. He washed his friends' bedding that he was found dead in for his friends' parents. I thought this was sort of wierd (note: husband was with me when friend died...no suspicion there). He even chose to go to help his gay friend's family clear out his belongings from his home, rather than go to his daughter's basketball game. I'm experiencing health problems of my own, where I'm not really stable to stay alone with the kids and he still chose that over me and the kids. Do you think he is gay, or bi? Or could it be just that he felt extremely guilty and responsible for the death, since they say it is from the fall and he was the one who encouraged him to go to the climbing wall? I'm really confused and a wreck! What do I do? Before this all happened, I have asked him if he is gay and he said no. Do I just accept that and move on?
I'm a 33 year-old married heterosexual. My Husband and I have been together for 15 years and we have two kids. We've been married for 9. My husband has always been fashion savy, into soap operas, and liked to bleach his hair. I knew that from the start. It gets more complicated though. About 14 years ago his close friend from high school "came out". The two of them were almost inseparable. I know that doesn't mean he is gay, but there's more.
When we were dating, a lot of times, he would choose his gay friend over me. He even kept it a secret that he went to senior prom without me. He went with a girl, but she wasn't a love interest. He double dated with...you guessed it...his gay friend! This has always bothered me.
Okay, fast-forward to 2007! The gay friend died a couple of weeks ago. It was a surprise to everyone. The cause is unknown for sure, but there is suspicion that it was due to a climbing wall accident that he experienced while hanging out with my husband. The day of the accident, my husband literally clung to his side. He stayed all night at the hospital with him. Keep in mind, I've had hospital stays before, and he didn't treat me this way!
This was about 6 months ago. Then the death occurred from out of the blue. He was not seeing anybody, so he had no partner in his life. My husband is having a difficult time handling it. He washed his friends' bedding that he was found dead in for his friends' parents. I thought this was sort of wierd (note: husband was with me when friend died...no suspicion there). He even chose to go to help his gay friend's family clear out his belongings from his home, rather than go to his daughter's basketball game. I'm experiencing health problems of my own, where I'm not really stable to stay alone with the kids and he still chose that over me and the kids. Do you think he is gay, or bi? Or could it be just that he felt extremely guilty and responsible for the death, since they say it is from the fall and he was the one who encouraged him to go to the climbing wall? I'm really confused and a wreck! What do I do? Before this all happened, I have asked him if he is gay and he said no. Do I just accept that and move on?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
But as for your question...Like you said the two of them were inseperable and obviously very very good friends. He knew this friend longer than he knew you. It is possible that he is bi, but that really doesn't matter. This man was obviously very important to your husband...I'd say to just let it go and just support him as best as you can. Because whether the or not the two of them were more than friends really doesn't matter because your husband is very much upset at the moment, and he obviously loves you because you didn't say there was really any problems with your relationship. Just be there for him and help him. He probably thought of his friend as more of a brother, so think of it that way if it helps.