i'm tired of being lonely!!!! i'm ready to just give up on the "holding out" thing, and just give up on everything all together. i'm to busy to be in a relationship and to lonely not to be. i'm damned if i do and damned if i dont. even if i did find a guy that didn't mind me holding out i couldn't spend time with him because of work. and then if i did want to have sex with that person i wouldn't have time for that either. (i dont thing the fitting rooms are big enough for all that). i was doing so well up until today, now im freakin depressed and everything is hitting me at one time. now i cant stop thinking, crying, and my head hurts. it doesn't help that i keep listening to two of the most beautiful sad songs of all time. (color blind by counting crows, and nothing compares by sinead oconnor.) its funny i just can't stop listening to them. i guess because both of them combined kind of explains how i feel. now i don't know who do, but what can i do? i know i should take things day by day, but i can't stand the feeling i am feeling, and i can't help that i'm feeling that way. plus i'm depressed so it is impossible for me to just quit thinking about something like this. ok i'm just going to stop typing. i need to think, and get some pain killers... love on...
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