*sigh* it would seem that my stepmother has found my profile on this website, and she read everything. though she wont be telling my dad of my sexuality, she says that i have to do it, and that if i dont she will tell him that she knows a secret about me and he really needs to talk to me. basically, force me to come out. i am terrified both for my dad's health, and mine and his relationship. i dont see him ever forgiving me. she also decided to hurl her religion in my face for a few paragraphs in an e-mail saying that she was asking god to guide her hands, and she felt that she had to send it. i understand the fact that she has an incredible conviction, and i respect and am glad that she is still wanting to maintain a friendly relationship, if not semi-supportive one, it was just so frustrating, and felt so very much in-my-face. im scared, and nervous...i mean, what if i get down there, and i tell him, and then he says that i dont have a ride back home, or even that i cant stay at his house any longer? what if he goes to the hospital when told the news? i'll feel like it was completely my fault. this is so huge... i diddnt want to come out yet..not to him. we just got to a wonderful place on our relationship. my dad and i could finally be friends...you know? anyway...this has gotten much longer than i originally intended, but... im going to need strength to go there next week. it truly will be the hardest thing i have ever done.
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