Coming Out Support Group

This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men and lesbian women face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.

1,039 Members

2,180 Posts

0 Online

deleted_user 12/01/2007

So I've decided to come out to the family before I have someone important in my life. I came out to another friend recently and told her that I planned to wait til I had a steady girlfriend, but she said that would be really unfair to my parents. She said that I should tell them before I'm with anyone, that way they could be used to it by the time I had a girlfriend, and they would be more comfortable with her hanging around.
But I'm terrified. Both of my parents are alright with homosexuality. Even my gun-toting, Bible-thumping, card-carrying Republican Dad believes it's something you're born with that you can't help. My Mom always had me around her gay best friend growing up and explained to me at a very early age what it meant to be gay. I know they're alright with homosexuals.
But I don't know if they'll be alright with ME being a lesbian. I'm afraid that if they have a bad reaction, I'll just go back to being "straight". I don't want to go through all of that again.

So here are my options:
1. Tell them now and get it over with and out in the open.
2. Wait until I have someone worth telling them about.
3. Wait until I'm at my new college and moved out.

2 is just not an option anymore.

I feel like telling them will make being a lesbian feel like something dirty.

deleted_user 12/01/2007

If you feel like you're ready to come out then you should. You sound like you're pretty ready, you're just scared and that happens to nearly everyone who comes out. There will always be the doubts about who will accept you and who won't but you have to be yourself and have people know the real you. It's not worth living a lie just to make the people around you feel more comfortable

x x x

oh and i vote number 1 :)

deleted_user 12/01/2007

I think I've decided to tell my parents and my brother and SIL (she's very important to me, been around since I was in elementary school) the next time they come over. So possibly tomorrow. My best friend who lives with me says she'll stay home sunday night instead of doing her usual stuff to support me.

deleted_user 12/03/2007

I Agree with tradingskies, you should come out when you are ready. I mean, I want to cpme out to my parents, but i think that they are homophobic, so i think that they might reject me. but if you think that your parents would be OK with it, then i think you should just get it over with, OR come out to some of your CLOSE friends, and then get their opinions about what you should do. Good Luck!

deleted_user 01/18/2009

How did it go?

deleted_user 01/21/2009

You have to be ready to do it. When I came out I was petrified but both of my parents love me just the same if not more now. They consider my boyfriend part of the family and they joke with him and he is always welcome at their house. Though I think they still have something of a hard to mentally dealing with the idea that we share a bed...but all things take time.

My best advice for you is to tell those that you know will support you first, like you did with your friend and make sure that if the worst case scenario occurs you have a back up. I.e. if you get kicked out of the house, you'll have a place to stay at your supportive friend's place. Though it sounds to me like you won't need that, but it never hurts to be prepared.

The most important thing is to believe in yourself, to breathe and to do it calmly and with care. It's hard for a parent to find this out. Hard but not impossible...

deleted_user 01/27/2009

I'm 32 and just came out to my parents after ending an 8 yr marriage. It's not easy and yes they might be mad, hurt, upset, but after all is said and done you might feel like you have let them down. That will pass and you will have a whole new look on life. They will still love you. You are their daughter. Be open and honest with them, hiding things will only make it that much more difficult and the hurt will be greater. I told mine through an email because I was unable to speak to them face to face. I wish I could change that, they said it would of been said to them even over the phone. Mine where hurt and upset, my parents are really religious and figured that prayer would change me. Guess what it didn't work. I'm now married to my wife of 7 months. Keep your chin up and things will get better.

Liz

Join the Conversation

Posts You May Be Interested In

come unwind in the bp lounge

Posted by: irishwriter

Last Reply: kisses2016 12/15/2020

7992

theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Walk a Day

Posted by: Rizen

Last Reply: Secouya 01/21/2021

2569

I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...

come unwind in the bp lounge

Walk a Day