I\'m so sick of this damn closet that I\'m about to lose my freaking mind yall! I live in a constant state of fear everytime I even think of pursuing a relationship with another woman. What\'ll my family think (not that I really give a damn), but I kinda do no matter what I say. What\'ll my friends say? I know what they\'ll say. They\'ll say that it\'s cool by them, but I want to know if they really mean it. I guess only time can tell that. It\'s just really difficult to determine now. What will my kids say? Lawwwwd have mercy, I don\'t even want to go there. I\'ve got to do something because I feel like my whole life is on whole and I\'m lonely and sad. I\'m not depressed but I can see me on the road to that if things dont\' change. I have to change them, but I\'m so afraid. I have so much love to give, but I feel like I\'m literally dying inside from denying my heart, soul and body of what I trully want and need. Which is a relationship with another female. I\'m so attracted to them that no word could ever describe it to my satisfaction. I am also very attracted to men. That is accepted. My loving a woman is not. How do I get the \"Fuck what everybody else thinks, this is me!\"? How in the world do I muster that kind of awesome courage? For those of you out there who are out, you have all my respect! If any of you have any good word for me I would surely appreciate it.
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