Have you asked him to listen to you?
My husband and I are learning better more productive ways to communicate...
I've been taught to go as far as say, "Hun, I have something to talk about and it is very important to me and I need you to listen right now, just listen." AND/OR we set aside 10 mins a day each, and actually set a timer. The process is that each of us talks for 10 mins, and each of us listens for 10 mins. No interruptions, no fixing, no disparaging...just talk, just listen.
It truly does help...and naturally you'll find you don't have to ask, or you don't have set aside the time and it will just occur...

I think Maia has some excellent advice there.

I myself, had to "corner" my partner and point out that we needed to talk and listen. Once that was done, it worked well. Sometimes it gets uncomfortable for me.

If and when you do decide to ask hubby to talk, please make sure there is no television, radio, or anything else to distract him. Most men get mesmerized when there is TV anywhere in there area of vision (I'm a guy, and I can testify to that). Also remember that this is listen time, not what can I do to help time, how can I fix this time, or take on some guilt time. It may take a few tries before you both get into the "listen" zone.

I admit that I am lousy at communicating, and I have put my foot in my mouth more than once, but I don't regret ever forcing the issue when it came to talking, and listening.

Excellent advice.. but I'm curious why you say, I always Have to listen to him. Why?
I'd get a walkman and put the earplugs in my ears and let him see how he likes being ignored. Turn up the radio and simply tell him to be quiet. If positive re-enforcement doesn't work - sometimes you have to give them some of their own medicine. They rarely don't like the taste!

I HAVE TRIED THAT APPROACH, HE DOES THAT TO ME BUT WHEN I DO IT HE BITE AT ME AND YELLS AND SAYS I DONT HAVE TO LISTEN RIGHT NOW. ITS ALL ABOUT CONTROLLING ME HIS WAY, EVERYTHING HAS TO BE HIS WAY OR ELSE. LIKE BOW DOWN AND KISS MY BUTT.

I think that sometimes not listening is also a form of denial. If they don't hear, then they can say they don't know.

Are you saying his not listening is in some way a form of control?
Perhaps you need to take back the reigns. You want to be respected, you need to let him know how you feel. You don`t have to put up with unacceptable behavior.

I think he will hear you when HE wants to hear you. Codep relationships are horrible in the communication dept. Enablers especially can be amazingly selective in what they choose (and yes it's a choice whether they realize it or not) to hear.
I would try to think about what kinds of things your husband does seem to hear you on and then use that as a way of bringing up your topic. For example, my father tends to only hear things of a religious nature (people are not wrong, the've sinned etc.) so to get him to hear me, I've started phrasing things in a way that he's comfortable.

Hmm?
I'm not sure what to offer from here...If my husband refused to listen to me or whatnot, that would tell me that he could give a good crap...? Is that how you feel? I don't know, possibly this is wrong but I don't write it with 'punishment' as an intent but maybe you should tell him until he is ready to communicate with you and not just talk at you that you will no longer provide him the ear he refuses to provide you...?
Keep at it honey - If he loves you and wants this relationship at some point in his own recovery he'll decide that he is over-the-top in selfishness in this area...

I was there too... always wondering when he would ever listen to me. It never truly happened for us. Once in a while, I still try, but, really, hubs just isn't interested. I'm working on new ways to communicate & interact; relate. Learning what works, and learning that it just ain't gonna happen.