This line I'm walking is definitely not the way to go. I quit a friendship which at one time was of an intimate nature. But she was emotionally abusive. At times, now months later, I talk with her over issues we both know stuff about. I know better than to let thingsgo to a sexual level. But getting off this fine line would be my preference. I have come to admiring women who don't give them selves away to the first guy they meet. I'd like to keep my heart mine and only give it to the person who is worthy of having access to it. But I have always felt too unlovable to not keep my heart mine until I meet that person who is worthy enough to have access to it. This is due to emotional abuse of a longterm nature from my mother which is past history. It haslead me to be really rigid, something I no longer need to be. But even I was not left with the copy of instructions on how to get unwanted tapes to stop playing untruthful messages in my mind. I'm searching for a spiriyual path and next month will try a Unitarian Church. A whole lot less chance of being spiritually abused there as oppossed to where I was before. That is another debate , however. thanks for reading. :)
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