I was so proud of my being assertive and setting a boundry with My MIL . ..
Then today in the mail she sends one of her stupid cards to my 18 month old ( she has this annoying habit of sending cards to her or anyone over here , when she wants to pull strings , she has used this tactic over and over again whenever she was mad at me , she will use a "friendly " card to someone here and write something she knows will get under my skin ) .

So today the card said :

Dear M,
Halloween is just next week, do you know waht you'll be yet ?
Maybe a princess or a cute doggie? Whatever Mommie dresses you up as , I know you will look great . Grammie will take some pictures of you when you are all dressed up . All of you have fun and I'll see you soon.
I love you ,
Grammie S

So sounds harmless right ?
And to anyone else unknowing of the past of our situation would think she was just being grandmotherly or nice. But this woman is a total medaler in df and I's relationship . See MIL and df's father were both coke heads , every weekend partiers, MIL still smokes pot and gets drunk etc.. all three of her sons are addicts and are mama's boys . They are ALL single right now , and she takes up for all of htem , cleaning their apartments and she's even gone out and scored heroin for DF when he was having withdrawals ... but when he was in rehab last fall and asked her to visit him in there she said " I"m sorry honey , but I won't be coming in there to see you , I just can't see you that way "
That pissed me off so royally bad ! she comes and picks him up when he is wasted off his a$$ here and we fight , rescues him , she'll see him that way , she let him into her home nodding out and dreweling and acting like a complete loser high on heroin and oxy and who knows what else ... but she can't see him in rehab sober ???????????????????

she played such a victim crying and carrying on on Christmas the winter I was pregnant ,b ecause we weren't coming for breakfast ( but agreed to be there for lunch ) that DF felt sorry for her and got mad at me , we ended up in a huge argument , where I was hyperventilating and got left home alone on christmas , I ended up driving myself into the ER , because I hadn't eaten or drank anything all day and baby stopped kicking due to stress.

She insisted on doing my baby shower, only to invite my enemies, even after I told her no , then she turned around after I had a heart to heart with her and told her that I have panic attacks and cannot handle a large crowd , and that I only wanted a small group of just close family . She made it all about her to the point that I ended up talking to df about it , then he and I got into a fight , because he said I was hurting his mothers feelings and she was just trying to do something go nice for me . The same week I told her how I need a small group , she sent over a list of who SHE wanted to invite . It caused so much stress for me that I ended up getting upset and saying I didn't want a babyshower . THEN ... she had the balls to come over and ask if I would mind if they still had the babyshower and she would sit in my place and open my gifts , here i am 7 months pregnant , dealing with her addict son , and she is just one thing after another overstepping .

I'm sorry to go off on this , I just could go on about her and all the nervy things she has done . And for so long now I have felt trapped into having to accept her crap and let her have control , just to be able to not offend DF , because he would side with her .


I am getting better at pushing her out and not dealing with her .
But I feel weak at the moment, and discouraged because , look I let her get to me , AGAIN .
I've spent a couple hours venting about her , and with this on my mind .
I feel like she knows that I will refuse to see her on Halloween and that she knows it will turn DF on me , she'll cry and act all wounded , adn I will be the bitch .

Funny thing is that I really shouldn't care , I am not seeing him right now, and as far as I can see we are thru .

I plan on telling her that either
A. I won't be going out trickortreating because baby won't remember it anyway , and I'll take advantage of a break

or

B . Sorry but we are going to my family's and going to go trick or treat with her little cousins in my hometown . and if she asked to see her or whatnot , I'll just stick to saying that I am too busy or whatever .

In a way I just don't want to even respond at all , like we didn't even get her dumb card ,but I just don't want her calling or showing up on the actual holiday and stressing me out .

Sorry this endedup so long , she really gets under my skin , if you can't tell , lol ...