I come from a background that included alcoholism and mental illness (my Mom). I have through the years been in one unhappy relationship after another. I have know that I contribute to my unhappiness and have felt so discouraged by my continued mistakes. What I now know after my last relationship with someone I believe to be a sociopath is that I am so addicted to relationships when I am in them that they feel like they are a matter of life or death to my very existence. I left the relationship a few months ago and am still plagued by the thought that I am worthless because he could not care for me. I do not want to talk to him, but that he has been fine with the end of the relationship feels like a confirmation of my worthlessness. He has made minimal attempts to contact me after the last blow (found his account and photo on a live sex chat site) I do not respond to his attempts, but not for the right reason. I simply can't allow myself to hear one more damaging word. He has hurt me so severely. Now, if I had any sense I would feel mainly hurt and angry at the betrayal, but what scares me is that I take it as telling me this is proof that I am not good enough. I know he is sick and selfish and I really would like to leave it at that. My emotions are so contrary to my thoughts and sometimes they are just all mixed together. I know this sounds extreme, it is extreme, that is my whole problem. How can I stop this awful cycle?
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