I think I would have to admit that trusting others is my biggest problem. Been lied to before, been cheated on, been verbally, and eventually emotionally abused. Trust does not flow freely. But.. I think I know that in order to get back on track, I am going to have to trust at some point. It is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do, and I find it is a day by day thing.

I have trouble trusting too.
As ashamed as I am to say it, I've had a hard time trusting my GF lately. Checked up on her more times then I can say and found each and every time i was being foolish. Even so, I struggle with it because of my own insecurities. These are the issues I'm working on, and while I work on fixing me I'm taking the "as if" approach from now on. I do not recall where I read about it, bit it means you act "as if" you trust someone and use it as a tool to build yourself up. If they have given you reason in the past not to trust this may not be the best aproach, but in my situation is makes sense. I know my trust issue is not because of this person, it is because of my own insecurities.

Trust issues have always been my biggest problem - I trust too much and get bit everytime AND today I have difficulty trusting anything, anyone.

Of course. Our trust has been abused and misplaced so often, its no wonder we have 'trust' issues.

I think the key is setting our boundaries, and choosing very wisely whom we are going to trust.

Yes, I have trouble trusting others, in fact, I am feeling very non trusting today. My defenses are on high alert. I spent the last three and 1/2 years being lied too..I was married to a habitual liar. He lied to me about everything..It was so frustrating. I understand what you are going through. It is hard to trust after having such bad experiences.

ms jeffers has an affirmation:
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
the only thing i can safely trust is my ability to handle what another says and does to me.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
i would say really, what trust comes down to is trusting myself, listening to my intuition. my inner wisdom. letting it flow and not blocking it.
instinctually, we know the truth, at some point. it's like a crossroads---which path are we going to take.

thanks for the topic!

I am 35 yrs old. I have been lied to, used, abused and degraded by people in my life that were supposed to love me. For many years, I trusted no one but myself, cause everybody else just screwed me over in the end. The hardest thing in life that I ever did was to trust another human being. But, when I did, it was the greastest feeling in the world. It took me 13 years to trust this person with my whole life, but it opened up a level of love that neither him or I had ever experienced before. If you take the time and trust the right person, it's worth more than a pot of gold.

I seem to be having the same problem lately. Promises were broken...dreams shattered...is everything worth the aggravation? I dont know.

Thank you all for your input. I so thankful to have found this place and others that understand where I'm at. Blessings to each and everyone of you!

i would also add, that if we can see the growth lesson in a disappointment or something that didn't go our way, the pain isn't so bad. it's like we had the experience for a reason and we are growing and will do better next time.
just like a child learning to roller skate, we must accept that it is a process. even the best skaters fall. but the best ones don't dwell on the fall, they apply the lesson and continue to get better.
blessings!

Trust is big problem for me, and I am taking some moves to work through this. What am I finding? Lately, I feel like my lack of trust is really not a big deal if I am true to my boundaries. How do I set those boundaries? If I feel that there is a sense of urgency accompanying the thought of giving trust, trust is probably not in order. When in doubt - do nothing.

However, I seek balance between discretion and paranoia. If I'm being paranoid, I'm acting crazy. I don't want to be crazy. Also, my nine-year old began acting extremely distrustful of people a couple years ago - way too young for that. She was carrying my stuff around. This was my biggest motivator to quit acting on my craziness. As of today - I just let it go.

For me the best thing to do is to trust my "gut feelings" they are usually correct. Many times I have had them only to have my hearts thinking override and wind up getting hurt. Trusting others seem to be a big issue and giving the benefit of the doubt may not be the best way to trust.

Some more on this topic - I protect my personal boundaries with a vengeance. I won't give up my serenity that easy, and I think that's okay. But I choose not to be paranoid about my lack of trust in people. If I give them no power over my feelings in the first place - then there's nothing to lose! I won't give anything to anyone who demands it.

god do i ever have trouble trusting people, but then again who can you really trust?