it is much easier for me to stay away from toxic people, unless they are family. do ok for awhile but then get really anxious and obscess about it. i spent 20 years not living close to my sisters, even when my son had 3 open heart surgeries, they were not supportive or even the least bit helpful. so now i live close and as soon as i moved here it was all about how i can be of benefit to them and when i did not respond to this, no sisterly contact. have been told that i am petty and not a true caregiver. my sister has said these things to me. so angry. how could she say this. have been through hell and back with my sons chronic illness. i see my sister in town and she blows me off and say hi but does not even take the time to talk to me. feel like an intruder when i see her or stop by her house. just thougth that things would be different if i lived close. but if its not what she wants to do and i dont want to do that, its never like will ok let compromise to be together. but my other sister lives with her and she is such a caretaker to her, and i am just a bother. the treatment between her other sister and me is very extreme. she had a rummage sale and said that there are alot of toys that i might want for my grandbaby to buy and take to my house. so she brings up one night that i would not even buy toys from her ( that are her grandbaby's). to help her daughter that lives with her get money. i said you cant give a bunch of junk toys to you great niece ( my grandbaby). she says that is not the point that i am cheap and dont want to help her daughter. its just crazy. my sister and i have such similar lives, kids close to ages, boys in the service, divorses and gettting back together, and both in health professions. so much in common, but no sharing. dont know why i cant get over this. need that family connection and need it to much that it rules my life at times. if i stay away i get better but then when i reach out it all comes screaming back at me. just so sick of it and live so close that everyday when i go to work or to town i have to drive by there house and get pissed at the treatment. even thought about driving another way so that i dont see their house and then feel how left out i am. when i try to talk to her about this she acts like i am just so stupid and petty and need to get over it. please give me some advice feel like i am just going crazy with resentment, how do you stay away from family? how have others of you done this without relasping into dispair. was rasied that family is the most important thing and she also says this alot about family being the most important thing but seems it includes all but me. so upset about this and why do i let this rule by thoughts about who i am and my self esteem. thanks for listening to me ramble on just need help
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