Where do I begin? I've been in this relationship for almost 2 yrs. I fell in love very fast and we have been through more in a year than I had with my ex husband for 16 yrs. We met when we were both going through hell and we were good for each other. First few months were great. As time passes, his drinking increases. I've come through a custody issue and finally have overnight visits with my son. He is now off probation, finished his drug counseling and then starts working on getting his license. Our lives start heading in the right direction, he decides to increase drinking even more, staying late after work, driving w/o license, etc. Got arrested last month (now more charges) and court date in August. I have 3 children (youngest 11) and he has none. He really wants a baby and we were trying and I miscarried last year. Because of the unstability and drinking and emotional abuse, I had decided to start on the pill. Two weeks before that, I find out I'm pregnant. Panic!! I tell him and he's happy (more than happy) and wants to get his life together, says he'll stop drinking, etc. So far it's been about 7 weeks and nothing has changed. In fact, matters have become worse. He's going out more than ever leaving me home a lot. Weekends are like one big party. It seems he doesn't even acknowledge I am pregnant. This past weekend was hell. I spent the entire weekend alone, felt physical awful and emotionally a wreck. He spoiled my son's weekend also. He had made promises to him to take him somewhere and because he and I were fighting (about his drinking), he takes off and goes anyway w/o us or even asking my son to still go. It's one thing when someone (that supposedly loves me) hurts ME, but now you are hurting my son. I've come to a decision - I'm not going through with this pregnancy. All I see right now is pain in my future. I see him gone and me raising yet another child by myself. I am 44 yrs old and finally have a good job, my life is getting back on track, and I now see that he is just pulling me down big time. It's time to let go. If he was not willing to make the changes he so readily said he would, then I cannot do this. I am totally against what I am about to do, but I see no other choice.
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