Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I feel like such a mess. As I try to just let myself feel my feelings (I feel silly even saying it that way - but it is so true), I so easily become jumbled up inside.
I know what it is like to try to be the good guy... I have such clear images of that guy - I know how to feel, react, and what to strive for. Too much of my life has been spent stuffing myself into that mold.
But now that I am trying to just be me - wow. What a roller coaster. I am finding that I have people in my life that I think I just plain don't like.
Speaking of which, I just got off the phone with my ex - and she tried to accuse me of some things - like being punitive, or of changing my mind on something... it was kind of funny - because I know that even a month ago - I would have had such a hard time hearing it that it would have swayed me one way or the other - but tonight, I just sat there saying - OK.. so? What's your point?
She can't stand not being able to control me. She even said I sound different tonight. I feel different too. I think it is a good different.
And yet, I am still sitting here stewing a bit from my day. Feeling really uncomfortable with all this stuff inside me. Hoping writing here will help.
I feel like a kid learning to walk... and I am just falling down and bumping my head over and over.
I know what it is like to try to be the good guy... I have such clear images of that guy - I know how to feel, react, and what to strive for. Too much of my life has been spent stuffing myself into that mold.
But now that I am trying to just be me - wow. What a roller coaster. I am finding that I have people in my life that I think I just plain don't like.
Speaking of which, I just got off the phone with my ex - and she tried to accuse me of some things - like being punitive, or of changing my mind on something... it was kind of funny - because I know that even a month ago - I would have had such a hard time hearing it that it would have swayed me one way or the other - but tonight, I just sat there saying - OK.. so? What's your point?
She can't stand not being able to control me. She even said I sound different tonight. I feel different too. I think it is a good different.
And yet, I am still sitting here stewing a bit from my day. Feeling really uncomfortable with all this stuff inside me. Hoping writing here will help.
I feel like a kid learning to walk... and I am just falling down and bumping my head over and over.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I find that when you start to let yourself feel, and start realizing who you are the world starts to look a bit different. I find that I experience a whole set of emotions that are new to me. Each time I have to explore it because it makes me a bit uncomfortable.
I have allot of bumps on my head right now, and I expect a few more. one tip - don't over analyze things. It will drive you and those around you nuts. I know that I am changing and I just have to accept it.
You are definitely on the right track and in the right place.
i'm going through my changes too...and work to remember that while i must be me and it is okay, that i can still be be and be honest with 'care'...sometimes i tend to be blunt and rude; which is only offensive and i dont' want that any more than i want to be a push over...
STAY STRONG!
I understand what Maia said...about being rude or blunt. I feel like I'm being a nag or a gripey complainer when I'm standing up for myself. I don't know if its true, or if that was a label used to control me as a child.