Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
And again.
I swear this only happens to my husband. Another employer, another phantom paycheck. I can choose to beleive that he is the most abused and unluckiest construction laborer on the plant OR I can choose to accept what is real.
I don't know the reason behind all the other lies about work and pay from the past, but I can assume. Today I believe that I must accept that he has chosen to lie and mislead me this time around because he KNEW I could no longer stand it, or live in it. The funny thing here is that I fell right into the manipulative trap and handed him his exit.
A man he has not proven to be...
I explained to him that I could not live with another phantom paycheck owed to him and that he need to choose sharing the truth now or making arrangements for the weekend to be away from our home so that this could calm and a conclusion reached. Until that moment he ignored everything from me and responded with, "I'll make arrangements for the weekend." I let him know that I was shocked that he'd rather leave his home as opposed to tell the truth. His only response was that 'I told him to leave.'
*shrugging shoulders*
If he wanted to leave; he could have just done so. The acting and drama wasn't necessary. It wasn't necessary to mislead and lie to me yet again.
I am wrecked at the absurdity of this relationship, of this life.
I swear this only happens to my husband. Another employer, another phantom paycheck. I can choose to beleive that he is the most abused and unluckiest construction laborer on the plant OR I can choose to accept what is real.
I don't know the reason behind all the other lies about work and pay from the past, but I can assume. Today I believe that I must accept that he has chosen to lie and mislead me this time around because he KNEW I could no longer stand it, or live in it. The funny thing here is that I fell right into the manipulative trap and handed him his exit.
A man he has not proven to be...
I explained to him that I could not live with another phantom paycheck owed to him and that he need to choose sharing the truth now or making arrangements for the weekend to be away from our home so that this could calm and a conclusion reached. Until that moment he ignored everything from me and responded with, "I'll make arrangements for the weekend." I let him know that I was shocked that he'd rather leave his home as opposed to tell the truth. His only response was that 'I told him to leave.'
*shrugging shoulders*
If he wanted to leave; he could have just done so. The acting and drama wasn't necessary. It wasn't necessary to mislead and lie to me yet again.
I am wrecked at the absurdity of this relationship, of this life.
-
I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Dramatic, sure? But what the hell? Absurdity rules the day.
Y'eah. That is the problem because you see, I am his mud puddle. I can't be dragged though it, I am it.
This is my fault. I created some of it and allowed the rest. And y'know, I'm not angry right now. I'm pretty sure I knew that this was coming (but that is hard to tell since I believe my own lies). None-the-less it is hard to swallow and the idea of moving forward for myself, to fix all this damange I've allowed is a horror show.
He gets to move on easily and freely - he's sober and has a new life at his fingertips and I think that is awesome...
Me, I get to live and struggle in what I created and allowed. I get to be reminded every day by the mounting debt, by the struggle to keep the lights on and food in my stomach, by living as strong Amy who is so tortured and just wants to be loved...but y'know she's a good girl...
Oy, vey. I'm sick of me already in this.
Whatever. It is what it is.
*Remember "The Serenity Prayer! "
Nothing.
both of you have years of work to do ahead of you.
have you considered a temporary legal separation? talking to an attorney about getting some of his debt restructured.
regardless of his issues---ain't no one out there going to work when they don't have to.
try and determine for yourself what you have done that has put you in this situation rather than what he has done.
get out the mirror instead of the magnifying glass....
you should be trying for YOU not the marriage.
get to a meeting..........
xo
You cannot heal what you cannot acknowledge. You're just waking up to it's depths within you
You've come to the right place for support through this site.
Not deeply "heart".
however, you do need to be kind and generous to yourself this weekend. Give deeply from your heart to yourself.