Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
self-worth (self-acceptance)=performance+other's opinions (approval).
I found this in a couple of my books that I've had for years. "The search for significance" and "The Anger Workbook". The facts of how culture and society pressure us to buy into the many lies of obtaining "unconditional" love.
"Enabling others is just the continuance of patterns learned. Effectually allowing the dependant person from ever feeling the consequences for their inappropriate behavior. Anger is the most common response to rejection. Pride is focus on my preferences, and anger reflects self-preoccupation. Many of us who are people pleasers, despise those who are being manipulative and resent what we have to do to earn approval. Avoid or control, equals depression-oppression of another (rejection, or the fear of it, loss, pent up anger or resentments not faced)
So what if we practiced something different?
Our thoughts reveal what we believe, through our actions or responses. Many of us have been in atmospheres of inadequate thought processes and have poor self concepts. How many people do you see running around saying, "I am blessed, I am wonderful, I am happy on purpose, I am a delightful human being"?
Conviction is honorable guilt with proper humility-healing encouragement to change or not do that again. I've questioned why this saying was ever written, "Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me"....probably because somewhere along another's path way a light bulb went off and it was time for decsion to take place?
Condemnation is shame and the inability to overcome that which is conditional. Fear of rejection, or approval, fear of making a decision. My alcoholic father use to say "I need to make a quality decision". It drove me nuts, back then, because if he really knew or believed what he was thinking then saying--- the first quality decision would've been not to drink a case of beer every night....but now, I believe that was his inner child screaming at him to wake up, but he couldn't, drinking is his way to kill the pain that he was not taught to cope with effetively.
If there were two glasses sitting in front of you, one with guilt and the other with condemmation...which one would you chose to drink?
I found this in a couple of my books that I've had for years. "The search for significance" and "The Anger Workbook". The facts of how culture and society pressure us to buy into the many lies of obtaining "unconditional" love.
"Enabling others is just the continuance of patterns learned. Effectually allowing the dependant person from ever feeling the consequences for their inappropriate behavior. Anger is the most common response to rejection. Pride is focus on my preferences, and anger reflects self-preoccupation. Many of us who are people pleasers, despise those who are being manipulative and resent what we have to do to earn approval. Avoid or control, equals depression-oppression of another (rejection, or the fear of it, loss, pent up anger or resentments not faced)
So what if we practiced something different?
Our thoughts reveal what we believe, through our actions or responses. Many of us have been in atmospheres of inadequate thought processes and have poor self concepts. How many people do you see running around saying, "I am blessed, I am wonderful, I am happy on purpose, I am a delightful human being"?
Conviction is honorable guilt with proper humility-healing encouragement to change or not do that again. I've questioned why this saying was ever written, "Fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me"....probably because somewhere along another's path way a light bulb went off and it was time for decsion to take place?
Condemnation is shame and the inability to overcome that which is conditional. Fear of rejection, or approval, fear of making a decision. My alcoholic father use to say "I need to make a quality decision". It drove me nuts, back then, because if he really knew or believed what he was thinking then saying--- the first quality decision would've been not to drink a case of beer every night....but now, I believe that was his inner child screaming at him to wake up, but he couldn't, drinking is his way to kill the pain that he was not taught to cope with effetively.
If there were two glasses sitting in front of you, one with guilt and the other with condemmation...which one would you chose to drink?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Exactly-telling others that are using guilt to control, to step off your canvas of life. That's when you know your boundaries. I've seen the paralysis created by this too, it is merely astonishing how much F.O.G (fear obligation & guilt) is used to control another human being. Thanks for your input! *hugs*