Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I'm done. I'm tired. I'm not getting anything out of being the victim anymore.
I care. About them...but most especially about me. I don't want to sacrifice myself for them anymore.
I'm still not expressing my feelings well...it takes awhile to get them out. And standing up for myself initially comes across as attacking...but I'm owning up to it. I'm accepting responsibility for my part in lack of communication without being a doormat and taking blame for everything...and always being wrong.
And still there's the pull of guilt and shame (old habits die hard), but the tiredness is winning....and I would rather run (figuratively) and just not deal with the other unhealthy people than to deal with them...but I'm not running. Because running only lengthens the duration of the lesson.
Frankly, I have to admit I do not know how to be healthy. And I have this strange feeling. It feels what I imagine apathy feels like.
And I'm getting a bit of an attitude. Actually sometimes I'm thinking, "So? Who cares if they are...."
Is this normal? Will I actually learn how to be the loving person I want to be?
I heard something the other day on tv...being generous [love, charity] is not generosity if you aren't giving as much to yourself as you are to other people.
So, if I give myself as much love to myself as I do to other people...then am I loving? Then I'm I more balanced and healthy?
I care. About them...but most especially about me. I don't want to sacrifice myself for them anymore.
I'm still not expressing my feelings well...it takes awhile to get them out. And standing up for myself initially comes across as attacking...but I'm owning up to it. I'm accepting responsibility for my part in lack of communication without being a doormat and taking blame for everything...and always being wrong.
And still there's the pull of guilt and shame (old habits die hard), but the tiredness is winning....and I would rather run (figuratively) and just not deal with the other unhealthy people than to deal with them...but I'm not running. Because running only lengthens the duration of the lesson.
Frankly, I have to admit I do not know how to be healthy. And I have this strange feeling. It feels what I imagine apathy feels like.
And I'm getting a bit of an attitude. Actually sometimes I'm thinking, "So? Who cares if they are...."
Is this normal? Will I actually learn how to be the loving person I want to be?
I heard something the other day on tv...being generous [love, charity] is not generosity if you aren't giving as much to yourself as you are to other people.
So, if I give myself as much love to myself as I do to other people...then am I loving? Then I'm I more balanced and healthy?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
Like anything else, it takes time to find our middle ground. We usually swing from one end of things to the other until we get somewhere in the middle. That IS okay.
Self-love is good. AND it is a far cry from being selfish.
We learn to be as kind to ourselves as we always have been to others.
Please get the book Codependent No More:) It IS a wonderful book that helps us with all of our feelings.
You are on the right track and I am proud of you. Taking care of ourselves is a journey. It is about progress, not perfection. We won't get it right all the time, but when we know better, we do better. Be gentle with yourself, and go easy.
((hugs))
EllaBlue
baby step it sweetie. we are all finding our way!
((((((((hugs and respect))))))))