
Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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I am having some major issues with my dad. I would like to know if anyone has any advice for the pain.
My dad was the best dad until I was about 10. I knew he loved me and wanted to be with me. He was awesome. My parents divorced when I was 7, but it didn't change anything between my dad me. When he got married to my stepmother when I was 11, it all changed. He had a new family and they were his priority. She had a son and they had a daughter together. I was now Cinderella and there was no time for me. When I was 13 he moved across the country and left me with my mom. I would spend 3 weeks out of the summer with him, but he only spent 1 night with just me....the very last night. It was horrible. I cried the whole time because it wasn't enough and I knew I was leaving the next day.
When I was 16, my mom killed herself, so I had to move to my dad's, but it was just as bad....if not worse because I was stuck there and had to endure being ignored every day.
Every visit with him, even this past Thanksgiving weekend, I keep hoping it's going to be different. I keep hoping that he will show me that attention that he did when I was 10, but he never does. I always get my hopes up, only to walk away with that same heartache.
So, I've tried to find other men to take his place, but that only ends in disaster. How do I get over this? I'm 36....you would think I would know better by now.
My dad was the best dad until I was about 10. I knew he loved me and wanted to be with me. He was awesome. My parents divorced when I was 7, but it didn't change anything between my dad me. When he got married to my stepmother when I was 11, it all changed. He had a new family and they were his priority. She had a son and they had a daughter together. I was now Cinderella and there was no time for me. When I was 13 he moved across the country and left me with my mom. I would spend 3 weeks out of the summer with him, but he only spent 1 night with just me....the very last night. It was horrible. I cried the whole time because it wasn't enough and I knew I was leaving the next day.
When I was 16, my mom killed herself, so I had to move to my dad's, but it was just as bad....if not worse because I was stuck there and had to endure being ignored every day.
Every visit with him, even this past Thanksgiving weekend, I keep hoping it's going to be different. I keep hoping that he will show me that attention that he did when I was 10, but he never does. I always get my hopes up, only to walk away with that same heartache.
So, I've tried to find other men to take his place, but that only ends in disaster. How do I get over this? I'm 36....you would think I would know better by now.
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Coming here and asking for support is a great start. There are so many caring, understanding people here. Finding someone you can talk with who can help you work thru the complexities of your situation, having your faith, this site, journaling...all of these things will help you.
God Bless you.
I am sorry to hear that your father is not meeting your needs and that he is difficult to talk to. I also understand how it does not work to fill the void with dating other men who still neglect to fulfill your emotional needs. I think reading the books out there is a great place to start. Also, having a few strong friendships is crucial. If you ever want to talk, I'm here.