My youngest daughter (and all of us) recently found out that my older daughter is an addict. She has detoxed and is attending a 9 to 3, five days a week, program BUT she tried to tell my younger daughter yesterday that she can't understand why she said (the night of her overdose) that she (younger d.) may never be able to believe her again - younger daughter has always idolized older sister and was truly devastated. I am trying to share NarCo philosophy with her and tell her not to look back - but she says that just by saying she has never lied to her (because "you never asked me if I was an addict") her sister is again lying and that isn't part of trying to get better, I told her that her sister will need to learn that for herself and that while she should call her on any "new" lies, dredging up the past is not helpful. In fact it is feeding into her need to be "punished" according to the blue book (ODAT) - am I now the "enabler in the middle" - I am truly trying not to tell people what they should be doing - is sharing what I am learning & suggesting that my youngest look into NarCo and ALAnon helping or controlling?
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