I started going to Alanon about 3 years ago..I have been working on myself ever since and probably will continue till the day I'm gone off this planet.. I recently engaged in a topic about trust with a few other members whose input was very valuable and enlightening..For those who don't know I was also abused as a child and was in a mercifully short abusive marriage as well 20+ years ago..Then, I thought I did well just getting out of the marriage and "surviving" I realize now there is alot more to surviving.. there is a saying in Recovery" You can't pass on what you don't have" well that got me thinking.. I don't just want to be a survivor I want to be happy and yes, TRUSTING again.. I don't want to be held hostage by my negative emotions, I don't want to be held hostage by possible unrealistic fears or anger, I know I am strong enough to stand up for myself..against someone who tries to abuse me, Now I need to be strong enough to be happy..For it is happiness and joy that I want to pass on, Not fear, mistrust and resentment..
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