
Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

deleted_user
I've only been on here a week. And I've really been making an effort. But my hubby just called me screaming at me because the modem isn't working and I just switched it out with the cable company yesterday. I asked him why he was screaming at me and he just hung up. And it really put a damper on how I feel about myself. Not because I can fix the modem, but rather because it makes me think about how I wound up in this mess to begin with. Part of me wants to cry and part of me wants to put a bullet in his head. Just when I think he is actually trying to control the things he says to me BOOM I am blindsided yet again. I wish I were stronger.
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Take a deep breath and maybe you can tell your husband that the next time he screams at you, the conversation is over. I also have to set boundaries and follow through. It can be hard, but it is so worth it. We are NOT responsible for how others react to us. They are the ones responsible for that, and they have choices.
Wishing you the best. Said with compassion..
EllaBlue
i agree with ella, in a calm rational voice when there has not been a fight, i would say to my ex "screaming is not acceptable. the next time you scream at me i will hang up"
and that's what i did. and if he phoned back i didn't answer.
after awhile he got the clue.
You are stronger, and you will get stronger as you go along. Being blindsided like that causes us to react before we can get our defenses in order. It just takes time. I usually have to work through things like that for a while before I can "wipe it clean".
If the modem is not working - tell him to call the cable company. It is obvious he can, since he dialed your number.
Take care
I get home and he meets me at the door apologizing sincerely. He promised he won't do it again. He says he'll give me a foot massage to make up for it. Then after dinner he picks up the lotion and says "If you want your foot rub you'd better get it before I go to sleep." Well, I got my foot rub, but it felt very obligatory. Maybe once my head stops spinning I can see it all, but honestly I'm still reeling a little.
be gentle. you are doing great!
i remember the AA phrase
"easy does it"
love!