Scattered, as I got stronger in my healing, I was able to set strong boundaries with those in my life. Be it families or friends. Screaming at you is something that should not be acceptable. It just does not work. It drowns everything out and we lose our focus on what the problem is. There just is nothing worth screaming over and it only delays our much needed dealings with things.

Take a deep breath and maybe you can tell your husband that the next time he screams at you, the conversation is over. I also have to set boundaries and follow through. It can be hard, but it is so worth it. We are NOT responsible for how others react to us. They are the ones responsible for that, and they have choices.
Wishing you the best. Said with compassion..
EllaBlue

you are getting stronger everyday. there is plenty of time to get better. do you see how you are starting to assert yourself?
i agree with ella, in a calm rational voice when there has not been a fight, i would say to my ex "screaming is not acceptable. the next time you scream at me i will hang up"
and that's what i did. and if he phoned back i didn't answer.
after awhile he got the clue.

I am not an expert on relationships. One thing that seems to work for me when another person gets out of control is to remain calm. Even though I may be shaking inside, I stick to what is rational and the facts. This has helped me in many situations. Please don't let his screaming reduce how you feel about yourself.

Hi, A big part of codependant relational style is 'taking too much responsibility'. did he hang up because you were the problem/cause? or Did he hang up because he is immature and has a low tolerance for frustration?

It sounds to me like you are taking the blame for this in some way. Yelling at you was not the right thing to do. I know when I get yelled at, I tend to clam up, and get angry inside. I started using my 3 rules. 1. I tell her that I do not deserve to be yelled at. if it keeps going then 2. I ask her to try and calm down, as this is getting nowhere. If it still continues 3. Goodbye, click. Then turn the ringer off (as I find that the phone ringing upsets me). Of course this never really worked with my ex, but damn it felt good.
You are stronger, and you will get stronger as you go along. Being blindsided like that causes us to react before we can get our defenses in order. It just takes time. I usually have to work through things like that for a while before I can "wipe it clean".
If the modem is not working - tell him to call the cable company. It is obvious he can, since he dialed your number.

Take care

Well, I called on the way home (I always do. I don't like having to go back out to the store when I passed 10 on the way home.) He was all cheery as if nothing had happened. I spoke in what I guess you would call the "this is me calling you because you are expecting me to but I really don't feel like talking to you" tone. He tells me no we dont need anything from the store. I say okay I'll be home shortly. He says "I love you. ??" I say I love you too. He says Sorry in a tone of disgust. I say I know. He says "but I was frustrated..." I interrupted, "And you took it out on me!" He says, "You're just going to have to get over it." I said I know I'll see you shortly.

I get home and he meets me at the door apologizing sincerely. He promised he won't do it again. He says he'll give me a foot massage to make up for it. Then after dinner he picks up the lotion and says "If you want your foot rub you'd better get it before I go to sleep." Well, I got my foot rub, but it felt very obligatory. Maybe once my head stops spinning I can see it all, but honestly I'm still reeling a little.

progress, not perfection my love. if you continue your newfound behavior it is likely he will continue his. things get better but only after some continuous time of new reactions and honesty with each other.
be gentle. you are doing great!
i remember the AA phrase
"easy does it"
love!