
Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I was just talking to my girlfriend about this last night , I swear to god I JUST did this .
YEP , I was very rebellious as a teen .
I moved out when I was 16 .
I had a crappy home life , well one side of it was wholesome , the other side was dealing with a mother who drank a pot of coffee, took dexitrim , worked 2 jobs, hated her life and took it out on me .
When I cut loose , it wasn't a pretty thing *eeek * .
i did drugs, drank, had sex, stole motorcycles for joyrides, shoplifted makeup....
that kinda stuff.
at home i was the good girl (well, i was a punkrock chick).
i remember once my parents went out of town and my gmother was keeping us. i told her i was spending the weekend with a friend so that i would have the house all to myself.
i threw a huge party. a bunch of stuff was stolen, older kids came and wouldn't leave.
i was the talk of highschool.
looking back on all that now i realize that i never could be my authentic self.
i never could let my parents know who i really was. what i really thought, felt.
if i did i was condemned or given some pat shit like "oh, just get over it"
as maia said:
and we wonder how we got here.
xo
Although not 'rebellious' I guess it speaks to something about me and my codependency...
Strangly I'm not a girl 'looking for a daddy figure' either. I have an aswesome father.
Who knows?
i think that is the root.
our thoughts, feelings, struggles, accomplishments didn't matter.
i think acting out or being good are just two sides of the same coin.
the coin being "if i just act a certain way i'll get the love/attention i want"
this thinking leading to codependency....
thanks for sharing! everyone!
Why do you ask?
I think rebellion is a key factor in the creation of sorts personalities which develop into a Codep relationship.
A Codep relationship mirrors the parent child relationship.
This struck a strange nerve for me...Like I wrote earlier I had a great father; and to be more specific he was very encouraging and supportive and to be honest somewhat lackadasical about quitting something I didn't really want to do...
My mom on the other hand was a hugely critical person; not degrading however and still is to some extent. For example, a grade of 'C' was unacceptable even in subjects she knew me to be working very hard on...and if an 'A' was brought home; that would be followed up with 'why didn't you do this too?', whatever 'this' may have been.
I'd like to say this is what created the 'over-the-top people pleaser' in me and it likely contributed but it did not make me an 'achiever', if you will...
I never not complete something out of need to not be critizied (like I quit college 3.5 years in...you'd think if I was motivated by this I would have finished, right?) OR maybe it is that I don't complete major 'things' because whether or not I do, I will be critizied...?
Hmmm... This is making me think!