Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

3,055 Members
10,551 Posts
0 Online
Addiction & Recovery
/ Codependency Support Group

On my own...

deleted_user
deleted_user
Why is it when I finally decide to do the right thing for me, I get the most resistance? I've been in a relationship my whole entire adult life and always living with my significant other. (Not just one partner, this has been a pattern...one to the next, etc.) I made the decision to move on my own in January and I can't believe the reactions I am getting. I have a man in my life who loves me and supports my decision to be single. We are parting ways as friends and who knows what the future holds. I need to know that I can pay my own mortgage, keep my home clean, cook for myself...just be alone with me. I can't continue on down this road of cohabitation without getting to know who I am first. I don't want to be half of any relationship anymore. I am complete within me and I want to prove this to myself. The reaction of the people closest to me is so disturbing. They all think I'm out of my tree! Why would I CHOOSE to be on my own and possibly even struggle a bit, when I have a man willing to support me. Why? Because I need to before I can ever move forward in a healthy relationship! How can I know who an ideal partner for me is when I don't even know who I am?
deleted_user
deleted_user
i think your amazing and i think you have such courage. and i say go for it. live by yourself, love yourself, for yourself, and when you know who you are, i'll bet you'll be ready for the right relationship. good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Bravo!
I did that a while back, and it was the best experience I ever had. It feels good to know that you can be self sufficient, and not need to cohabitate to survive. I wish you well. Find out who you are, then everything will get better.
deleted_user
deleted_user
most of our society is ill and codependent.....
we realize this when we do something healthy and get negative controlling responses!
keep on your path. it is yours, no one else's......
i like to just say "thank you for your opinion" and do what i know is right for me.
congratulations!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Again I have to agree with afloat, our society and culture are extremely ill. Your greatest growth area is in YOUR resistance areas, not anyone elses. God forbid if people are allowed to make up their own minds and a "quality decision", huh? Good luck and may you find success around each corner you turn.
deleted_user
deleted_user
This reminds me of a couple friends I have who are always telling me that I hope I find someone that treats me as good as their man treats them..hmmm..nice goal..but my goal for now is to learn how to treat myself good! Depended on someone else to do it for me for so long..and half the time it never even really happened. But now I have been single for almost 6 years..and I am getting better at treating myself good every day.
As far as a relationship, if I even consider accepting an offer to go out for supper or whatever, I get anxious and obessive. That alone is enough to keep me single!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you, friends! Sometimes I wonder if I am out of my tree by wanting to do this. Society is so geared towards the "you complete me" mentality. Every morning when I wake up I feel a slight panic at the thought of how I am going to do this on my own. Once I get my coffee and my day going I know I will be ok. Thank you for all the support and responses. Encouragement is always great when it's towards a positive and healthy goal!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes, I support this. I am now living alone again after many years but it was not my own choice. I am realizing how impossible I find it to be alone with myself and to like and love myself. So, no wonder I find myself addicted to relationships that are bad. I cannot run and hide from me anymore.
deleted_user
deleted_user
thats wonderful! If only more of us could have your courage. Thats great and even better you have support. You are not out of your tree at all. Its the smartest thing a person can do and I think everyone could benefit from learning who they are. Smart! Wish I would have done that!
ladyleo
ladyleo
Do what you need to do to find yourself its a hard road and I'm still doing it but I won't be content until I do. Take care of yourself first.
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • Ilovethekitties

    OT My last day with USPS will be 2-27-15

    Posted by: Ilovethekitties
    Last Reply: GiphyOlivia
    21
    I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
  • Rizen

    Walk a Day

    Posted by: Rizen
    Last Reply: mujicaptsd
    2701
    I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...