Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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Not Surprised

deleted_user
deleted_user
My therapist instructed me to talk as much as I can about my stuff to safe people during the week. I was talking with my sister, because we were friends and hanging out for years.
I just found out that she has been talking to our aunt about me and my therapy stuff. I'm at a loss for words.
The punchline is that my sister and aunt had not talked with each other in 12 years, because my sister had stole all my aunts jewelry.
So now after 12 years of them not being in each others presence or speaking, they are chatting about how horrible I am, since I am speaking of childhood stuff in therapy.
THIS SHOWS THE SICKNESS OF MY FAMILY
They meant evil, and I am making good from it.
I am more confident that may perceptions of the way my family acts is not a distorted perception. Good; because now I am not feeling guilty not wanting to participate with them as a family.
deleted_user
deleted_user
One thing I learned in therapy is just because they are your family does not mean you have to like them. Try not to feel too bad but by all means be protective over your feelings. I feel that I can talk openly on this site and so do not feel the need to talk to anyone else. I feel that others on this site understand out need for privacy and understanding. Maybe you can tell your sister how you feel and don't say anything you do not want talked about anymore. I think it is a good thing to be wary of others even family. Good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know that you are hurt and feel betrayed by your sister. You certainly have the right to redefine your relationship. I know that you are angry. If your sister has been a good friend up until this point, is there any way that you can talk to her, tell her how you feel, and some how rebuild your relationship slowly? I don't know why she is seeking your Aunt's approval at this time. My feeling is because she is trying to compensate for her guilt from stealing the jewelry years ago. Unfortunately, this is happening at the expense of your privacy. If you feel that your sister and family are just to toxic, I respect your decision. You have a choice of whom you choose to allow or not allow in your life. Sorry this happened. It really hurts worse being betrayed by some one from your own family.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I applaud your perception of this situation. You have made lemonade from your lemons. You go girl! What a milestone. You are sooo going in the right direction.
mgs1
mgs1
I think you therapist should have been more specific. I tell my patients, to talk about their feelings in a safe environment - meetings, group therapy and on-line with others who are there for the same reasons. Generally not a good idea to discuss things with people who have been instrumental in creating those feelings or situations which you are in therapy for.
Good lesson learned.
STAY STRONG
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you for your replies.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi, Sounds like the family members are scrambling to keep the unhealthiness intact. Thats what happens when they're 'way of life is threatened'.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yup been there...it's the tilting of the mobile perse. Instead of focusing on their own balancing part of the game of life, they swing over yander to get the whole mobile in movement. Distraction is a great tool to thwart or put off necessary required healing. It's when we start getting honest and adding the iodine to clean the wounds that toxins ooze out....Keep your distance/boundaries and remember you are doing what you need to do for you-that's all that matters. *hugs*
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