Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
The extremes may wear me out. So far today I have been ecstatic with the changes, feeling "powerful", not just authoritative, but powerful, not in the relationship but in me. Now I feel exhausted, tired of trying. Someone tell me that this is supposed to be exhausting but that it is worth it. Every night its a struggle, a fight and a disappointment. I have such great days, feeling strong, but now I know its only cause we are apart. Nights are the same ole crap. Tonight I asked him to take care of the kids, give them a bath so i could work on a photo book that HE wanted me to work on for HIS family. As i get started, baby is crying and he is fixing 2 year old ice cream. She makes a mess and the baby is STILL crying. I DO NOT RESCUE. He says to me, "SHE IS GONNA MAKE ME MAD!!" like a threat to me, like i better come save him. I DO NOT RESCUE. He gives up, sits on the sofa and watches television. I give a bath to both kids and do the album. He looks at it and DOES LIKE what i did. I DO NOT RESCUE OR TRY AND FIX. I told him, oh well. I did the album the way I wanted. Since you obviously feel strongly about it, maybe you should do the album the way you want. We are currently in a state of wild west draw. Neither saying or doing anything. He is waiting for me to fix it, to do something. Here we sit.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
continue doing as you are doing and look WITHIN not to him to validate what you are doing.
**********much respect!**********
take a bed, read a mag, do a facial, pluck your eyebrows.
something nurturing and fun. just for you.
leave the dishes, etc.
take time for you!
xo
God Bless.
i wish that i could've known then what a positive result i might get from keeping to my path and honoring my choices.
the is an entire universe of experience and possibility that you have not yet begun to discover.
have faith in your path.
if you want to be married to him then remain married. i think the mission of al anon is to teach those who love the alcoholic/addict how to truly love themselves.
you are learning to love yourself. no need to get out the crystal ball and let that old monster "fear" predict the future.
i think this is what prevents us from healing and achieving the life we want. fearing we might get results that we don't want.
do you pray?
now might be a good time to consider starting.
i pray to all that is good in the universe to support me and guide me. to help me get out of my own way. to allow me to be as gentle and good to myself as i am to others.
i promise sweetie, you are right where you need to be.
step out of the darkness and you will find light. you will be supported.
it takes courage and trust and faith.
and keep addressing your fears. they are not so big when we look at them logically.
blessings!
I had a therapist once tell me that fear stood for this:
F#$% Everything And Run. So whenever I have a fear pop up I try to control that flight syndrome (yeah the fight part does kick in on rare occasion, but truthfully only in EXTREME situations) and figure out exactly what it is I am afraid of, why am I afraid of it, is it a realistic fear or not, etc. I have walked away from therapy a few times in my life because I was afraid. Now I will be 37 in a few weeks and I'm still trying to gain the courage to face the things in life that I need to and I am still afraid. But I have made some good friends here and they hold my hands as I face them and remind me that everything will be okay and I do get the strength to look. And so far, everything has worked out just fine. It's a painful process, but nothing "horrible" has happened so far and I am slowly gaining faith that maybe it won't after all.
j