
Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

deleted_user
I have been crying for over a week. I have somehow managed to allow a death in my ex-husbands family leave me needing him, needing him to need me, leave me throwing all I know out the window and focusing on how I want things to be, which is not at all how they are. His acceptance of me is once again what I dwell on. Why is this cycle haunting me again? I went from moving on, or so I thought, to a complete 180! Calling him, texting him, going so far as to tell him I can be what he wants! I have lost my mind. Do I really love and need him? What is happening to me? Do I need a straight jacket? I am bound to run out of tears soon, aren't I?
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i stop whatever i was talking about, say "overthinking complete", and then change the topic of whatever i was talking about.
In reality we have very little control over our lives... they go where the sands of time and winds of fate dictate... when we overthink, it is usually about a problem that we already know the answer to, just don't like it, so we try to figure out another one.
F*ck off you wanker!
Yep, i think that would be the best reply to the ex
The thing is, and I have been there, we seem to grab ahold of what is familiar. We fall back into our old patterns until we understand why we do this. And until we understand why we do this, chances are we will repeat the pattern, no matter how unhappy we are. Change is hard.
I don't think we can manage any relationship until we are willing to step OUT of it, and be alone with ourselves for a while. We also really need to break things down to ONE day at a time. Trying to project and look ahead only keeps us stuck and we lose ourselves.
In time, we DO know what we want if we are willing to give all that love that we give to others and turn that inward.
We remain confused also, as long as we keep the focus on another person. We need to nurture ourselves, get to know and love ourselves before we can begin to make a relationship work in a healthy way. In short, we just run around in circles, feeling crazy, unless we STOP and start over.
When we rely that much on another person for our happiness it is not fair to us OR to the other person that has to carry that load.
I say all of this with great compassion and honesty. I have been there. You can get better when you decide to put this energy into who you are, and really working on that.
I wish you the best..
EllaBlue
i read the initial post like, 'oh, well we have no control'...
of course we have no control over everything around us, but we do control whether it remains around us and how it affects us...
If you know the 12 steps, take the first 3. Then clean your bedroom and do your school work. Go to a 12 step meeting.