I feel like my world is falling apart, and there is only me standing there trying to keep it all together, and trying to make these others do what they need to do. Somewhere in my head I know I can only control myself. I have been with my common law husband for 16 years, we have a 15 year old son and I have two daughters from previous relationships. We finally bought a house 4 years ago and after the first year he lost his job. Since then he has been working seasonal, but sits home all winter doing nothing. I am afraid we are going to lose the house and do not like to be out working all day and come home to an intoxicated husband, who has done nothing , not even the repairs of holes in the walls that need to be done. In addition our son will not go to school, I have taken him for councelling, had the nurse and guidance councellors involved from school. Then my 25 year old daughter moved back in, comes and goes when she wants, contributes nothing to the house and has serious drug addictions.
A few days ago 5 different people from my daughters life contacted me. Two of them to tell me I need to reach out to her and let her know I love her. I was offended. I know she tells them lies about me making me seem unloving so they will feel bad for her. It always seems with her that no matter how much I do it is not enough. She started seeing a new guy, then went to another guys for drugs , the new guy messaged me and I told him she wasnt home, now she is blaming me for ruining that relationship...um no..its her fault for going out with another guy. The new guy is fairly volatile and she expected him to show up at the door. Somehow him showing up at the door and throwing a fit was ok to her, but him messaging me politley was not. So then the other night new guy messages me again...she has sent him suicide messages - I believe in order to guilt him into forgiving her. He sends them to me. I cannot get her or the people she is staying with to answer me. so I am awake worrying all night.
Hubby complains about her all the time...constantly. I mostly agree with him..but geez it gets hard to listen to every moment. And a lot of what he says, he does the same thing...so its hard not to turn around and tell him that.
He is not verbally or physically abusive to me. But its hard when he makes no sense when he has been drinking and it is hard/impossible to have a conversation. And its hard listening to the im going to get a job, Im going to the employment agency, I am going to training and nothing happens. And the lies ....little things that there is no need to lie about. He told me he insulated the pipes...this morning he is mad because they are frozen....so I said I thought you insulated them...welll blah blah blah excuse excuse excuse. In other words he told me he did, when he actually he didnt. I didnt tell him to or ask him to so why did he randomly tell me he did something he didnt do?
I just feel so confused and lost. I know steps I should probably do, but getting the courage and energy is another thing.