I just got out of relationship with a practicing addict. I thought he loved me enough to weather all our storms. I have 14 yr old and he doesn't want to be a parent. So I moved out at his request in July and am completely devastated. My father died in August and I am now officially a wreck. Jeff has made it clear he wants to sever all ties with me. I feel so damaged and defective. My therapist said his disease is progressing and it can't have him living with a recovering addict as a constant reminder of what he should be doing. How could I have been so stupid, blind and out of my mind? I am spending uncontrollably and feeling like shit even more. I hate myself for not being perfect and whatever enough to make him love me. Please help me I am sinking fast! Feel free to read my journal entry for even more stupidity.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??