I just got out of relationship with a practicing addict. I thought he loved me enough to weather all our storms. I have 14 yr old and he doesn't want to be a parent. So I moved out at his request in July and am completely devastated. My father died in August and I am now officially a wreck. Jeff has made it clear he wants to sever all ties with me. I feel so damaged and defective. My therapist said his disease is progressing and it can't have him living with a recovering addict as a constant reminder of what he should be doing. How could I have been so stupid, blind and out of my mind? I am spending uncontrollably and feeling like shit even more. I hate myself for not being perfect and whatever enough to make him love me. Please help me I am sinking fast! Feel free to read my journal entry for even more stupidity.