Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
So Thanksgiving is two days away. My mother has gone to her mother's house and my sister is going to be there. I cannot go and don't mind as my father will be at my house. I always call my grandmothers on Thanksgiving day if I am not there. (So far so good)
So....I haven't talked to my sister in 4 years. Long story short, she's lived with me twice, both times had a job and quit once she moved in, started partying and not paying the bills, taking advantage of me, and the last time she stole $4,000 from me that I was saving for the day I had the strength to escape the crack addict I was living with. So, both times I kicked her out. After all of this one night her girlfriend kicked her out of the house. She called me and asked me for money for a hotel room. I told her that I didn't have the money but I had a spare room that she was welcome to stay in for two weeks while she looked for a place. She said, "I guess I'll have to go work Cass Corridor then", called me a selfish bitch and hung up on me.
Now I am nervous about calling my grandmother's house because my sister might answer the phone or may be put on the phone. I want to say I'm sorry for anything I ever did to hurt her (I'm sure over the course of our lives I have done something - I KNOW I have) but...*sigh* I just don't know. I want my sister back and it is out of my control. She won't respect me anymore than last time and it really hurts to think about. Any suggestions?
The holidays are always hard for me because my family is split right down the freaking middle.
So....I haven't talked to my sister in 4 years. Long story short, she's lived with me twice, both times had a job and quit once she moved in, started partying and not paying the bills, taking advantage of me, and the last time she stole $4,000 from me that I was saving for the day I had the strength to escape the crack addict I was living with. So, both times I kicked her out. After all of this one night her girlfriend kicked her out of the house. She called me and asked me for money for a hotel room. I told her that I didn't have the money but I had a spare room that she was welcome to stay in for two weeks while she looked for a place. She said, "I guess I'll have to go work Cass Corridor then", called me a selfish bitch and hung up on me.
Now I am nervous about calling my grandmother's house because my sister might answer the phone or may be put on the phone. I want to say I'm sorry for anything I ever did to hurt her (I'm sure over the course of our lives I have done something - I KNOW I have) but...*sigh* I just don't know. I want my sister back and it is out of my control. She won't respect me anymore than last time and it really hurts to think about. Any suggestions?
The holidays are always hard for me because my family is split right down the freaking middle.
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
And I suggest NOT offering blind apologies for 'whatever' you may have done or not done to hurt her feelings...of course you prolly have but why a blind apology? She is tantruming because you didn't give her what she wanted not because you wouldn't extend to her what she needed. That's the difference...there isn't anything to feel guilty about honey!
Unfortunately in dysfunctional families, every one has something to apologize for - and the cycle goes round and round.
Support groups are great around holiday time. I've read in some recovery material that we have our "family of origin" and our "family of choice". I know this holiday season I'm going to be around my family of origin, but I'm also going to be around my family of choice. Those people include my husband and children, and our own traditions, as well as Al-Anon and DS.