Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Well, I made a decision (hopefully I won't change my mind). Last night after getting home from the ER where my mom was taken for the millionth time with her emphysema, I was resting on the couch because I have come down with a cold that my spouse has passed on to me.
He decided to start asking me once again about a jacket that I was wearing that he believes to be a man's. I told him I don't remember where I got it. He accused me of holding onto stuff from people I've dated. It went into the same tirade as always, why don't I love him, how come I don't touch him, am I seeing someone else, is it someone from work, why did I buy new clothes for work, who am I dressing up for??
I've decided to call a lawyer and make an appt for my last vacation day this year (Dec 17). I wanted to wait until Spring because my emotions don't do well during the winter but I'm so tired of living this way. I shouldn't have to sit on my own couch in my own home and be shaking with my nerves when I don't have to. He started demanding I give him an answer last night which made me think it was going to be another one of those nights where I try to sleep and he pulls the covers off, tries to open my eye lids and continues until he is satisfied that he has gotten the answers he wants or he just gets tired. I really thought that would occur when he went into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of wine out of anger.
Thank goodness it didn't go that long last night but I know there will be another night. I can't live every day wondering that will be all the time.
I'm scared of living on my own again (financially) and I'm afraid of ending up alone when I get old like my mom but I can't live like this either or I won't have to worry about getting old. The stress will certainly kill me at an early age.
He decided to start asking me once again about a jacket that I was wearing that he believes to be a man's. I told him I don't remember where I got it. He accused me of holding onto stuff from people I've dated. It went into the same tirade as always, why don't I love him, how come I don't touch him, am I seeing someone else, is it someone from work, why did I buy new clothes for work, who am I dressing up for??
I've decided to call a lawyer and make an appt for my last vacation day this year (Dec 17). I wanted to wait until Spring because my emotions don't do well during the winter but I'm so tired of living this way. I shouldn't have to sit on my own couch in my own home and be shaking with my nerves when I don't have to. He started demanding I give him an answer last night which made me think it was going to be another one of those nights where I try to sleep and he pulls the covers off, tries to open my eye lids and continues until he is satisfied that he has gotten the answers he wants or he just gets tired. I really thought that would occur when he went into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of wine out of anger.
Thank goodness it didn't go that long last night but I know there will be another night. I can't live every day wondering that will be all the time.
I'm scared of living on my own again (financially) and I'm afraid of ending up alone when I get old like my mom but I can't live like this either or I won't have to worry about getting old. The stress will certainly kill me at an early age.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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Has anyone tried these supplements? Do they give MGers more quality of life by improving memory and overall well being?Thanks!Barbel
i was in your situation with two young girls. i finally left when he pushed me off our porch one night (5 ft or so) and i called the police.
after months of me begging him to move out he finally decided to move after his night in the metro jail. his response was:
"I'm leaving. I can't have you calling the cops everytime i try to have a conversation with you."
i agree with annnnnn that you need to protect yourself. i think "it is not abuse" was a typo.
cause this is abuse.
when you are ready, you will go.
perhaps start planning now. socking away a bit of money that will not be too noticeable....stuff like that. msg me if you want a good legal escape plan.
as for your worries....the future is wide open! once you heal and begin to make healthy choices, your entire world can change.
i would just add that the process of divorce drug on forever and it was terrible. the first two years of adjusting were pretty rough.
but not ever, not on my darkest, most desperate, most exhausted day, did i even wish i had not done it.
i've never regretted it. not for a moment.
this is empowering.
and lord knows, you don't want to bring children into this!
blessings to you.
there is help and hope here. you are not alone.
But he was always controlling. He still does that waking me up in the middle of the night thing because HE wants to talk, or calling me at work because he is pissed or annoyed or wants to beg for forgiveness.
Any it all started with control. It is abuse