i'm having a bad day, i've been so good staying focused on me, no communication with exbf, he still forwards emails and calls. he constantly plays mind games with me, with his family, regarding his feelings toward me. i know he's incapable of a healthy emotional relationship, but he plays these games, i'm drawn back then he disappears. like today, he suggested we meet for breakfast, i didnt hear from him did not call him, then i let my mind run and later in the day i left him a message, then i just called his house, and left a message. clearly he has choose not to return my call. i hate myself for what i've done, calling him. he clearly has no intention of being kind, loving and respectful to me, why did i get sucked back in? I know i should have no contact whatsoever, including with his family, his mother knows he's a drug addict, of course she finds reasons he's wonderful, but then says how she hates the way he has treated me. i'm back in a dark hole and i let myself go there. i just needed to vent, i just wish i could be strong all the time, and not have meltdowns like i did today.
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