My ex boyfriend left me after an abortion. He didn't give me input on the matter and even though I wanted to have a family more than anything I gave up the child out of fear of many things. I miss everyday being pregnant, having that joy. At first he didn't talk to me about it said he couldn't handle it and I wasn't sopposed to tell anyone....so I didn't but he did and of course I didn't find out until now. I wwant to cry all the time I want to not think of him but recently he decided to "come clean" with me after 8 mnths of leading me on and hurting me....or me hurting myself...i just wanted someone to talk to...i ended up in the mental hospital then he slept on the couch and asked me to move out...anyways when he came clean he told me about all the lies he had done while he was leading me on ....basically two relationships one of which he slept with (unprotected not telling her he may be a HPV carrier because after the abortion I was diagnosed with cervical cancer due to it, probably from him) I can't get him out of my head even from the stuff he put me through, I was recently crazy and called him a bunch and flipped out on his voicemail, now he won't answer my calls even for me to appologize, which is tearing me apart. I know I'm a codependent...how can I stop this? I want to not have him in my head all the time please please help! any suggestions would be greatly appreciated
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