It has been a while since I have written in my journal. So much has happened. My husband, has been to counseling and has learned ways to help him cope with life's disappointments without taking it out on me. I have learned to not allow anyone to use me as a dirty shoe mat. It has not been an easy road, but I know that I am doing what I need to do for myself and my family. My little boys are growing up strong and happy, and I am happy that they have both parents as a unit to love on them and be proud of them, and give them a well balanced life. As for my husband, he doesn't attack his family anymore, but I can tell he still struggles with coping. He has started a job, and moved up the ladder in 4 months to Director of Operations for a creative staging company. It is obviously a lot of pressure, but we need him to make his income to offset our debts and rising mortgage. Every other day, he gets frustrated, and wants to quit. Personally, I am upset at him, but I don't think telling him this will make things better. I would love to quit my job sometimes and be a stay at home mom. But my income, the largest in the family, is too important to our survival. With what I make, I have a lot of responsibility, and have to produce constantly. I also have a freedom in my schedule, so I am the parent that works, takes the kids to school, participates in school events, takes the kids on bike rides, takes them to their sports, practices with them at the park, makes dinner every night, cleans the house, and pays the bills. I do all of this so that my husband can concentrate on just his job and a few handy man projects around the house. I do not want him to be overwhelmed. I can handle what I have...except when he complains about his job and threatens to quit. Then it puts me over the top. Inside I want to explode. Any suggestions on how I can handle my feelings? Any suggestions on how I can motivate my husband to keep going and to not quit? Currently, I am trying to teach my boys not to be quitters, and to be adventurers...which is harder to do if I do not have the support of their dad. Thank you in advance for your support.
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