My name is Kathy. I've had major depression for over 25 yrs, usuallly managed well with meds but much usually worse this time of the year. I know it's getting much worse the last few days, and although I've been on a downturn for awhile, this time I feel like my sinking into this is my own fault. I am married, and I got into an emotional affair with a friend, a pen pal, nothing physical but with my codependency emotional is much more dangerous. I fell hard for someone inappropriate. I saw what was happening and went to my therapist last week and came clean. Then I backed out of the emotional part of the relationship, knowing that was the right thing to do. Now I feel like crawling in bed and not coming out. I feel like such a fool. It seems every time a man shows me a little attention I fall head over heels in love with him, open myself up to a world of hurt. I don't understand why i do this. I really need to know someone out there understands.
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