Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hi... I have been here at DS for quite a while... started out in the bipolar community - focused on my wife's behavior.
She was diagnosed with BP five years ago... and last October, she was having an affair, leaving me, seeking a divorce, and was acting very, very out of character.
After 10 years of marriage, and having two beautiful children - I was devastated.
Slowly, I came to the realization that focusing on her was doing nothing for me. So I moved on to the divorce community.
All along, I have struggled with this codependency thing. I hate labeling myself in this way. But I am guessing many of us feel this way. I want to be perfect, strong, fearless. And when I am not - I guess I have lived in denial.
Something in me snapped last year.
I lost both parents in 2006. Both were only 60. My father passed in April. My mother became ill around Thanksgiving, and passed by Christmas. I walked out of 2006 absolutely convinced that I need to live my life differently than ever before... not at all sure what that meant.
So here I am... wanting my life back. Wanting to stop living for everyone else. The blinders are off. There is no going back.
But determination is only one part of this odd equation. Healing is taking me a lot of time. I find it nearly impossible to reach to people in real life, to feel valuable and worthy just as I am.
I feel that I constantly OWE the world something - and I believe because of this, I have manifested great debt to match this feeling.
All in all, my life is actually going quite well now - but deep down - I can't stand it. I have this incessant need to shake things up... like I work so hard to get things right, and then have a terrible time just sitting back and appreciating it, or letting it be.
Just wanted to introduce myself. Something tells me that I may be around here for quite some time :)
She was diagnosed with BP five years ago... and last October, she was having an affair, leaving me, seeking a divorce, and was acting very, very out of character.
After 10 years of marriage, and having two beautiful children - I was devastated.
Slowly, I came to the realization that focusing on her was doing nothing for me. So I moved on to the divorce community.
All along, I have struggled with this codependency thing. I hate labeling myself in this way. But I am guessing many of us feel this way. I want to be perfect, strong, fearless. And when I am not - I guess I have lived in denial.
Something in me snapped last year.
I lost both parents in 2006. Both were only 60. My father passed in April. My mother became ill around Thanksgiving, and passed by Christmas. I walked out of 2006 absolutely convinced that I need to live my life differently than ever before... not at all sure what that meant.
So here I am... wanting my life back. Wanting to stop living for everyone else. The blinders are off. There is no going back.
But determination is only one part of this odd equation. Healing is taking me a lot of time. I find it nearly impossible to reach to people in real life, to feel valuable and worthy just as I am.
I feel that I constantly OWE the world something - and I believe because of this, I have manifested great debt to match this feeling.
All in all, my life is actually going quite well now - but deep down - I can't stand it. I have this incessant need to shake things up... like I work so hard to get things right, and then have a terrible time just sitting back and appreciating it, or letting it be.
Just wanted to introduce myself. Something tells me that I may be around here for quite some time :)
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
Thanks for the welcome, and for the tip.
And I agree with the idea of being willing to make changes. It hit me hard last night, and I wrote about it today in my journal - being able to change in life is a great accomplishment all on its own.
We help each other!